Think nothing of it...

Happy No Brainer Day!

I'm going to take a wild guess here and suggest you had no idea today is No Brainer Day.

I'll go even further and speculate you don't have a clue what No Brainer Day is all about.

Celebrated on Feb. 27, International No Brainer Day is a day dedicated to doing things that are simple, obvious, totally logical and don't require any brainpower at all.

"If a project requires thinking, study or analysis of any kind, then it's not the chore to do today," is how one website I stumbled on put it.

According to what I could glean online, the idea sprang from the mind of a woman named Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith, who, along with having too much time on her hands, is the owner of Koopersmith's Global Communications and is billed as "the premiere eventologist in the history of the world."

What is eventology? According to Wikipedia, it's "a timeless way to celebrate dates and special times every day." Everybody got that? OK, me neither. But that's not what matters. What matters is that, without giving it any thought, a day dedicated to doing things without putting your brain in gear seems like a genius idea to me.

As a crusading newspaper columnist, I am used to churning out thousands of words without thinking about any of them.

As a person of the male gender, I have spent the better part of my life engaging in activities without taking the precaution of checking with my brain first. If I used my brain any less, they'd have to put me in the Senate.

That said, what thoughtless things should we do to celebrate No Brainer Day? Well, we need to think about that, which, if you think about it, defeats the purpose of a day devoted to not thinking, right?

That's why I sat down with a panel of experts and asked them to do the thinking for us. I'm referring to the kids in Amanda Parisien's Grade 4 class and Derek Paul's Grades 4 and 5 class at Hampstead School in East Kildonan.

My buddy Big Daddy Tazz, one of Canada's hottest comedians, and I spent Tuesday morning with the kids for I Love To Read Month in exchange for them strapping on their thinking caps and suggesting fun things to do without actually thinking. Here's what they thought up for you ...

Haley, 10, Grade 5: On no braner day, you should be dum ... slep at school and be a clas clown, get sent home and slep some more."

Jordan, Grade 4: "For No Brainer Day, people should relax and take a nap in the bathtub."

Saveliy, Grade 4: "Make the jars that look like ladybugs to help the Ladybug Foundation raise money for homeless people."

David, 9, Grade 4: "For No Brainer Day, people should only say 'yes' or 'no' without thinking. Be a zombie for No Brainer Day ... people should just not think and hezatate. We shouldn't use our brains."

Mark, 9, Grade 4: "Be a zombie, eat junk food, go to a party, play video games."

Riley, 9, Grade 4: "Suck at video games when you rock at it."

Keannad, 9, Grade 4: "For No Brainer Day I am going to be myself... I do not need my brain. I will sit down and watch TV. I will go to bed all day."

Becky, 10, Grade 5: "On No Brainer Day, I would go on my computer and watch TV and eat chicken and root beer."

Kelly, 9, Grade 4: "Buy hot chocolate from Tim Hortons."

Shane, Grade 4: "Without a brain you would not be able to move."

Logan, 9, Grade 4: "Be so dumb that you sit on the TV and watch your couch."

Teacher Derek Paul: "Get kids to write your column for you."

Teacher-librarian Liz Loewen: "Accept free tickets to a Jets game ... a date with George Clooney and doughnuts in the staff room."

Teaching assistant Dorothy Vandoeselaar: "Tell my family that I love them. Get a pedicure."

Teaching assistant Amber Cox: "Loaning money to someone with a large interest rate upon return. Beer at a hockey game."

Personally, I think these suggestions from the kids and staff at Hampstead School should give thoughtful readers a general idea of what not to think about today, at least I think so.

By sheer coincidence, today also happens to be International Polar Bear Day, wherein we are urged to lower our thermostats a few degrees to reduce our carbon footprint, thereby helping to save polar bears.

Yes, today is the official day to save polar bears. Sounds like a no-brainer to me.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 27, 2013 A2