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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Time to move away from your shallow family
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm a 21-year-old girl who has a big heart. I have a career. I am happy and blessed. But, I've always being put down by my family, cousins, aunts, uncles basically, from both sides of my parents family. Why? Because my sister is much better looking. She is gorgeous, with the body, the hair, the looks and honestly EVERYTHING. I'm happy for her, but when I see how the family compliments her all the time, I feel so down and wish I looked like her. My parents didn't even come to my graduation ceremony when I was getting my diploma, but for my sister, my dad has already booked the day off and is very excited to go. I'm a little browner than she is, 5'4' and weigh about 110 pounds, but I'm always second in everything and my sister is number one. After seeing them, I cry my eyes out when I go to bed. -- Emotionally Exhausted, South Winnipeg
Dear Exhausted: I could remind you about being "beautiful inside," but with your family playing at the shallow of the pool, you need to fight the fight where it's located. With your height and weight, you are a perfect petite figure. My suggestion to you is to overdress for every occasion when you are going to meet with your family. Since comparisons are going to be made anyway, wipe everyone there off the table fashion-wise -- siblings, parents, cousins, your sister. Since you have darker skin, you can wear exotic colours and fashions. You can get a great haircut and free make-up advice at beauty counters. Real jewellery is a boost to the self-esteem. Enjoy your role as a career woman and play it up. Buy or lease a car that makes you feel great, and rise above the role of mousy No. 2. If being around family wears on your heart and soul, and you have a chance to advance your work with a move, consider a new locale where there are no comparisons. Then visit the family when you're back this way, and bunk with a friend so you're relaxed before and after visits.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm a man with a wife who goes out to gamble. The problem is I don't care anymore and use the time to go out and meet women online. About a month ago I met one in person I really care about. She wants me to get free. The wife and I are empty nesters and I don't love her as a lover anymore. What should I do? -- Tempted, St. Boniface
Dear Tempted: Don't go quietly, by sneaking off into an affair. Rock the boat! Tell your wife you are tempted to start seeing another woman because she's so lost in gambling she's no longer present in the marriage. Ask her to go for counselling to see if there's any chance left. If she tells you to get lost, that she has no gambling problem, and she doesn't care about you anymore, then it's definitely time to go.
lovecoach@hotmail.com
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 23, 2012 D8
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