Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/8/2013 (1060 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I don't believe it. I've just been kicked out! I know I haven't been a good provider for my wife and her kids, but I'm a musician and the money comes when it comes. My wife says I'm "an extra mouth to feed" and she's tired of supporting two kids and a "useless" guy. I just wrote a song called Useless in less than 20 minutes. Doesn't that prove what I'm good at? I'm just not good at business. She says I should get a band together again, but l've done that gig for too many years. Then she said I should teach lessons, but what a soul destroyer. Damn kids don't even practise. Today she said, "Get your ass down to a convenience store to work!" I just laughed at that. Then she said, "Get out. Go live with your lazy-ass buddies." Why should I? This is my home and I paid half the down payment eight years ago when things were going better. -- Damn Good Musician, Winnipeg
Dear Musician: I can just hear the musicians around town hooting. You're spoiled rotten. Most musicians have other jobs to make a full living, and with any luck, they're music-related. And how does half a down payment eight years ago, and little since, help keep up with the mortgage? You forget your wife keeps paying every month -- if she didn't, you'd all be homeless. With your attitude of entitlement you'll be lucky if your mom or one of your music buddies will let you in.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was at a social and danced all night with a girl who was really into me -- dancin' dirty and everything. She was so fine. We went for cigarettes and we kissed outside behind the building. At the end of the night, I asked to take her home and she said, "Not tonight, but here's my number." I tried it once and it's the number for the dog pound. Is that supposed to be an insult to me? -- Foreign Student, West End
Dear Foreign Student: Don't take it too personally. She probably made up the number as she was writing it. She was just out for a little fun and didn't feel it was safe to give out her number so soon. Too bad she didn't just tell you the truth instead.
Please send your questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6