DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband and I are both night owls, so last year after midnight in the first hour of April Fool's day, I arranged pillows under the blankets to look like my body and called my husband to the bedroom in a seductive voice. He crawled into bed behind "me" and when he put his arm around my feathery "waist" and tried to kiss my pillowy neck, he freaked and jumped backwards out of the bed. I leaped out of the closet where I was hiding and yelled "April Fool!" He didn't think it was at all funny. A year later, I think about it and it was hilarious. But this week, he warned me not to do anything again or I would regret it! Why doesn't he see the humour in my little jokes? -- Funny Girl, Weston
Dear Girl: Some tricks are funny and some are a little mean. This trick had a mocking aspect to it, so it wasn't funny to your naked victim who expelled himself from the bed bottom first, and you got a to have a big laugh on him. No doubt, he probably felt like an idiot taking his clothes off and sliding into bed to make love to a dummy made of pillows. Nothing hilarious about that for your loverboy.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was married for more than 20 years and my husband left me for another woman. It hurt, but life goes on and I'm happy on my own now. Anyway, I recently reconnected with an old high school friend. I wasn't even looking for a relationship, but we got to chatting, and things just seemed to click. We have so much in common and it just felt right -- not even first-date jitters. In less than two months, I knew I was in love. How does that happen? Is it even possible to fall in love that fast? We're both middle-aged and settled in our lives and careers, but closing in on the options for retirement. Neither of us is in a position to make big decisions at this point, but we've talked a lot about a future together. We fell in love fast it seems, but we are in no hurry to move in together or anything like that. Am I crazy in love, or... -- Just Crazy, Winnipeg
Dear Crazy: April Fool! You win the prize for doubting this wonderful love relationship. Don't spoil it by worrying your winning lottery ticket into little pieces. You need an April Fool's wake-up call, something to help you see clearly. Are you thinking you may be "crazy" because of your age? It's actually the healthiest, most wonderful thing that could happen to a super grown-up woman. There couldn't be better timing. Wait a minute... were you bragging or complaining when you wrote that letter? Did you just want him to see this in the paper? It appears I'm the April Fool!
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6