DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife likes to scratch my back up. Is this true passion or is she just trying to mark me as hers? I have not always been true and she caught me several months ago. -- Suspicious of Scratching, Winnipeg
Dear Suspicious: Yes, she's probably marking you cavewoman style. Women with long nails know what those nails can do if they dig in and they know it is a turn off for other women. Even women who are cheating don't like to see evidence of the so-called boring wife's passionate times with you.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met this exotic-looking woman at The Forks and we spent eight hours together. Lunch rolled into dinner, then drinks, and we finally went home tired but happy after a long river walk holding hands. The next day -- still the weekend -- I was supposed to meet her at Assiniboine Park and she texted me in the morning to say she couldn't get away because her husband had come home early from closing up the cabin. Husband? Really? How come there was no ring and no mention of him all day and evening at The Forks? What was she doing with me? I texted back and asked her that. She said she wasn't "that married" and she could enjoy another man's company without sleeping with him. She "reserves that privilege" for her husband only.
I asked my buddies if they had ever encountered this weirdness, and one of them who is an international salesman, said he did on airplanes. He said women sometimes take off their rings to see if they've "still got it" on long airplane rides and he's even become a member of the Mile High Club with a married woman in an airplane. That's disgusting. The secretly married woman I met engaged my interest, my hopes and my heart. I am 31 and single. I was excited about meeting her again and I wondered if she could maybe be "the one." Do you think she ever planned to see me again after our goodbye kiss that lasted 10 minutes? -- Hurt and Angry, Winnipeg
Dear Hurt and Angry: Sorry, but it's doubtful she planned to see you again. She had a great time with you and couldn't afford to see you again. Perhaps she feared she'd get emotionally involved. Still, it was a rotten thing to do. Unfortunately, both sexes sometimes do it. Men of a certain age often take off their rings and hide their true identities in bars and when they travel alone. Some married women who don't get out of town as much flirt outrageously at political events, charity parties, over lunches with colleagues and other places.
This woman you met was taking a day off from her marriage. She should have told you, but she knew you'd bolt. Next time, sweetly ask a lady who flirts with you if she's married, as if it would be all right with you. Most people won't lie if they think they won't have to pay for telling the truth. For now, incorporate this flirtation into your mind as a salute to your attractiveness. She started talking to you and couldn't tear herself away for eight hours? Obviously you've "got it" yourself, but next time you must be sure to ask if a woman's truly free or it's a "let's pretend" day for her.
Please send your questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6