DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband wants to book two weeks this winter at a sunspot, and I can't stand him on holiday for more than four days running. He says he won't stay home, so I can either come with him or he'll go away with his friends. If he goes with those buddies of his, I'll be getting a divorce. With the exception of my Mennonite-raised husband, they are the biggest bunch of cheaters you have ever met. They are talking about going on a fishing expedition down in the Florida Keys, but they dock every night.
My man is the next thing to manic at the best of times. He wants to go-go-go every minute on holidays: party and drink and do everything a place has to offer. It's like being on a marathon-training program with him -- there is no relaxation involved and he wants sex twice a day. And here's the thing: I don't trust him with those guys. Beer and women go hand in hand with them, married or not, and they'd love to see him become one of them again. What should I do? Go and be hassled for two weeks, or stay home and worry myself sick? -- Between a Rock and a Hard Place, Winnipeg
Dear Rock: This wild and crazy behaviour can't come as a surprise to you. What did you do before you actually tied the knot -- you went along with the holiday plans, didn't you? Marriages are deals and involve fairness and compromise. You can't just shut down his beloved holiday time in the sun now that you're married to the man. Either you help arrange a group of couples to go down south together or you find a holiday that involves group activities, such as diving, when you get there. Or try talking him into one week with you on a cruise that features a bunch of different activities. Refusing to go with him on holidays would be harmful to your marriage. You know the guys he runs with and they will probably have women available for him. He might not touch them, but you'll never know for sure.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Sometimes I feel like screaming when I'm trying to sleep beside my partner. She has an annoying little cough she could get rid of if she put a humidifier in our bedroom. "Cough-cough. Cough-cough." All night! Our apartment is dry, but it doesn't bother me. I have asked her to get a humidifier for her cough but she says it costs too much money. Last night I slept on the sofa and got the first uninterrupted eight hours in weeks. She called me a princess as she slammed the door on her way out to work this morning. Please tell her she's being an idiot because she reads your column every day. -- Princess and the Pea, Osborne Village
Dear Princess: I will do no such thing. And listen up, Princess. Would it kill you to buy your love a humidifier as a gift of health and comfort for her and a way for you to get a good sleep, too? Sleeping on the couch is a bad road to start down. You two live together in a dry environment which isn't good for you either. Even if you aren't coughing yourself, your skin and hair are drying out. Not everything has to be split 50/50 in a relationship and your loved one doesn't have to look after all her own needs. Install a humidifier in the bedroom, get off the couch in the living room, and let peace reign again in your abode.
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