Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Wisecrack the straw that broke her back

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend is hairy. She has long-brown hair on her arms, which everybody sees, and her legs, which nobody sees but me, because she's always in jeans. Oh yeah, I get the scratchy stubble in bed. She has a dark moustache which she gets pulled out by the roots at some beauty salon on a regular basis. That's good because it's a beauty -- almost better than I can do.

Don't get me wrong. I love her like crazy. I thought I could tease her about this, but last weekend I ran my hand down her hairy arm and said, "They should have named you Harriet and then I could have called you Hairy. Ha ha ha!" She slapped my hand away from her arm hard and ran off bawling. Now she won't talk to me. Women! She let me tease her a lot, and now suddenly I'm a horrible guy and I should get lost? Really?

I phoned her cell and she answered. She was still mad and I asked if she was having her monthly visitor or something and she clicked off her phone. Now I can't even get through. What should I do now? -- All Screwed Up, Westwood

Dear All Screwed Up: You know the expression, "The straw that broke the camel's back?" Well, that's what happened. You broke it. She's the kind of hard-to-read easygoing person that lets annoying things stack up. You had no idea how close you were to losing her, then you called her Hairy and tried to blame her hormones. That was a double whammy on the insensitivity scale. Since she won't talk to you now, just send her flowers that say, "I love you and I'm so sorry," and back way off.

Let her miss you, if she's ever going to. Don't tell her you'll wait forever. If you do get a call, apologize for your insensitive remarks once, with no "buts." Whatever you do, don't get into explaining abut how the extra-long hair on her arms doesn't really bother you. That would be the very last straw with a lighted match.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is having an affair and her three kids know it. We are all in our early 20s and don't live at home anymore. We know she is seeing the husband of a woman we all know. We know her daughter, too, which makes it worse.

My yappy sister dared to speak to my mom about it and she said it was "none of her business" and not to tell us. Of course she phoned us. We're not planning to rat out our own mother, but it is awful to know this about her. We always thought our dad was the bad guy when they broke up, but I wondered after finding out about mom.

Yesterday, I phoned my dad and he said to come over. He told me tearfully that they were both very young to be having babies (in their teens) and too young to be tied down. They both played around, but mom was the one who started it and they had an open marriage for year. Dad was he one who finally fell in love outside the marriage and had to leave. Now I have a crapload of hurtful information and angry emotions. I don't know whether to carry them myself or not. -- The Eldest Child, Winnipeg

Dear Eldest: Don't carry this load alone. You kids, who are really young adults, should deal with it all, together. Mom isn't talking, but dad is, so the other two siblings might want to have a talk with him, too. Your imaginations will be worse than reality and you need explanations to make things more bearable. Have dinner together at somebody's place, with some privacy and a box of tissues and talk out what you can.

Then the three of you need to approach your mother. Ask her to stop seeing this guy and see what she says. If she isn't madly in love, she might drop him, which would be best for everybody else since you three know the family. All you may be able to ask your mother, for now, is more discretion.

Please send your questions or comments c/o or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition April 27, 2014 A15

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes


  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.


Make text: Larger | Smaller


Jets this week with Tim and Gary in Anaheim

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • RUTH BONNEVILLE / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS June 23, 2011 Local - A Monarch butterfly is perched on a flower  in the newly opened Butterfly Garden in Assiniboine Park Thursday morning.
  • A goose cools off Thursday in water at Omands Creek Park-See Bryksa 30 day goose challenge- Day 25– June 21, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos


Do you agree with the sale of the Canadian Wheat Board to foreign companies?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google