DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: This is embarrassing. OK, I have this third nipple and I'm a guy. I go to great pains to hide it and always wear a white tank top to bed. I have a new girlfriend and she wants me to 'take the darn thing off." I can't hold onto it much longer as she's getting annoyed. Last night she said, "What are you hiding -- a tattoo of you old girlfriend? I don't care!" I still wouldn't strip down totally. When she was leaving for work, she said, "Show me your chest next time. This is too weird." I have tried to pass it off as a pimple before because it's somewhat smaller than a full nipple, but it's just embarrassing. -- Ashamed of The Extra One, St. Boniface
Dear Ashamed: If you get right down to it, there are lots of things that could be looked at as embarrassing about the human body especially in sexual mode, but we love them. There will be things your new girlfriend could be potentially embarrassed about, like one breast is usually bigger than the other on a woman. Most people have a scar or two, a chubby part, extra hair or not enough. We all have imperfections because we are individual works of art. If you read up on it, you might be able to give her a little information about your partial nipple and it would become an interesting part of you, for her. Hiding it away as if it's shameful only transfers the feeling. When it comes to showing your body in sexual situations, it's best to blast past imperfections and exhibit pride and gratitude for your health and capabilities. Confidence is a huge turn-on for women.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw my girlfriend's husband out with another man at a very intimate upscale restaurant. They were not talking business. I had a bird's eye view from the side, but they didn't notice me they were so into each other. It was definitely a gay thing, the way they were sitting shoulder to shoulder in the bankette and touching. I saw them holding hands at one point and then they stopped quickly. They were acting like a gay couple. My friend has no idea! She thinks her husband is the perfect man. On the way out, I stopped by their booth, and asked to be introduced. It was a very awkward situation and I think her husband could see by my sour-looking face, I was onto him. Now what? if I tell her it will ruin her perfect world. They have been married four years, no kids yet. -- Her Longtime Friend, Winnipeg
Dear Longtime Friend: If you don't tell her, there would come a time when she found out and realized people like you knew, "Why didn't somebody tell me right away?" would be her anguished question. "We could see you were so happy" would sound weak and irresponsible as a response. So the question is not IF you should tell her, but how. It's best just to state the facts, not your conclusions. "I saw your husband out for dinner with another man, sitting very close in a bankette and holding hands. I went over and asked to be introduced and the man's name is such-and-such, or so he said. Your husband will be expecting me to tell you, and here I am. I'm so sorry for having to tell you this, but I would have wanted you to tell me." Let her do the rest, or not, and don't tell the rest of your friends. She may not want to be friends for a time after this, while she works out what she's going to do. That is the chance you take as a true friend who runs into a cheating situation.