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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Your Weekend Weather

By: Doug Speirs

Posted: 09/15/2012 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

There are two kinds of people in the world, and today, as the only weather column licensed by the National Hockey League, we are going to present forecasts for both groups.

Let's start with the outlook for NHL fans: "There's a 98 per cent chance of bursting into tears and losing the will to live throughout the day today followed by scattered periods of despair, alternating with bouts of blind rage, combined with powerful gusts of hot air blowing from the mouth of NHL commissioner Gary Bettman."

OK, we'll give you hockey fans a moment to grab a tissue before we continue. Everybody got control of the emotions? Good. Remember: If we stick together, we'll get through this dark time in our nation's history.

Now here's the outlook for people who don't care whether the hockey season is thrown into limbo: "There are only seven (very bad word) days of summer left!"

All right, now you people -- and I'm talking to both of you -- can go grab a Kleenex. Sadly, I am not even remotely kidding about the second forecast. Next Saturday, Sept. 22, is the autumnal equinox, the official first day of fall and the moment we formally bid farewell to a record-setting summer and gird our loins -- which is quite a treat if you've never had your loins girded before -- in preparation for a soul-sucking Prairie winter without professional hockey to boost our frozen spirits.

Before you look for a hankie, let me give you a weather-related reason to live -- today is going to be awesome, with sunny skies and a sizzling high of 26 C, which, if you love numbers, is eight entire degrees above the normal high of 18 C.

Feeling better? Good, because on Sunday we're looking at a mix of sun and clouds and a measly high of 15 C, followed by an even measlier (nice turn of phrase, eh?) high of just 12 C on Monday. The rest of the week will see a few clouds and slightly below-normal temperatures, but there's no rain in the forecast. Wheeee!

NHL lockout aside, there's a lot of fun to be had, starting with Co-op Fun Day at The Forks on Sunday from noon to 5 p.m. We're talking clowns, jugglers, a magician, face painting, a bounce 'n' play area and a bunch of live bands on the main stage.

Speaking of pets (work with me on that one, people), the Manitoba Pet Expo runs 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sunday at Deer Lodge Community Club, featuring rescue information booths, pet merchandise exhibits a barbecue and (I'm not making this next one up) a canine kissing booth. So pucker up and make sure to bring some breath mints, Sparky.

Speaking of dogs, don't forget Hull's Haven Border Collie Rescue is holding a fundraising barbecue bash today from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Victoria Jason Park, 25 Redonda St., in Transcona. I'm told their hotdog menu includes "The Shitzu," a frank with sauerkraut, jalapenos, banana peppers, hot sauce and (why not?) a scoop of pork and beans.

In my professional opinion, if that doesn't get your mind off the end of summer and the NHL lockout, nothing will.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 15, 2012 A2

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