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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

One to watch... Kinder Eggs

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A couple from Seattle were driving home after a visit to Vancouver when they were stopped, threatened with thousands of dollars in fines and detained for two hours.

Their crime? Trying to smuggle dangerous contraband into the U.S. -- namely, Kinder Eggs. The chocolate treats are deemed a choking hazard and an adulterated food by our southern neighbours.

It's a joke, right? Well, don't laugh, because the same thing could happen here.

Perhaps soon, like the war on drugs, the U.S. will ask us to support the war on Kinder Eggs. And if that happens, it's not hard to imagine this scenario: Opposition: "Mr. Speaker, this bill is an outrage."

Justice Minister Vic Toews: "You're either with us or with the Kinder Eggs."

Meanwhile, those who support the freedom to bear Kinder Eggs will take to the street with signs saying: "If Kinder Eggs are outlawed, only outlaws will have Kinder Eggs."

Or how about, "Eggs don't kill. Chickens do."

The government could try to strike a compromise between the two sides with a Kinder Egg registry, but given the giant egg that was laid with the long gun registry, that is unlikely.

Perhaps the true Canadian way would be to commission a study, supported by a government grant, of the mentality of a country that allows just about anybody to buy a gun, but draws the line at creamy milk chocolate with a cute little surprise inside.

However this story plays out, we've got to get cracking. We've got a tiny plastic toy to assemble.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 21, 2012 J2

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