Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/6/2010 (2173 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
I am writing in regards to the mother who stabbed her children.
As a mom who fought with post-partum emotional adjustments of my own, I feel the need to speak out for this woman. I know what I am about to write is difficult to read, and I am not looking for any kind of "letter to the editor" battle, but here it goes: Please don't judge her!
If you have ever held your six-month old child in the wee hours of the morning and looked him square in the eye and said "I hate you! I f-ing hate you!" and had no remorse for it, don't judge her. If you have ever spanked your toddler for coming out of his room while you were trying to put your infant down for a nap, and sobbed while reading "one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish" because you saw him rub the red mark you left behind on his thigh and he looks at you and says, "It's OK mommy," don't judge her. If you have ever called your husband to come home numerous times from work because you just "couldn't take it" anymore, don't judge her. If you have ever called the mobile crisis unit a couple times and put yourself in a "time out" for a couple of days, don't judge her. If you have ever had to have your mom or sister come to "keep you company" for the day so that you didn't feel so lonely, don't judge her.
Finally, if you have never been sitting in your bedroom, on the floor, surrounded by a pile of laundry, contemplating how you are going to end your life because your kids would be better off without you, don't judge her.
Post-partum emotional adjustments are hard to overcome. I am so very grateful for the amazing support system that I had! Some women don't have that and it's a real shame. I especially found strength from the Women's Health Clinic (947-1517) and their many programs for moms, whether first time moms or old pros, Canadian or refugee.
If you know someone who is struggling, pass along the number for the clinic. They will help in any way they can, be it with counselling, mentoring, or helping the woman find the right outlet for her to get the support she needs.
I am in no way trying to make light of the severity of what this woman did! It pains me to think of those two children who were probably so very frightened and confused by what was happening. All I am asking is that you please try not to judge this woman. Because unless you have been so overwhelmed by such feelings you can't explain at the time, you have no idea what it's like to be someone struggling with post-partum emotional adjustments.