The difference between missed, and missing

Young women seem to be going missing more often these days, or maybe it's just getting reported more frequently. In any case it deserves everyone's attention.

Several girls have been found quickly lately, thanks to the news and social media. We may not have amber alert signs but we've got Facebook pages such as Missing Manitoba Women to spread the word when a woman goes missing.

One woman who hasn't been found yet is Tanya Nepinak.

The petite, 31-year-old woman was last seen around Sherbrook Street on Sept 13. Her disappearance isn't a case of a teen runaway, but I can see how girls sometimes go missing. I was missing myself, once.

When I was about 15, I ran away from home because things weren't going well.

I left with a friend, and later we met up with some other girls we knew in the city. We stuck together because we could watch out for each other.

We didn't eat much, sleep much, and we were always on the lookout for somewhere safe to stay. One place we stayed at wasn't that far from where Nepinak was last seen.

One day a friend introduced us to a couple of students who lived in an apartment block where we were hanging out.

They were young guys, 19 or so, with heavy French accents. They were like the French version of the characters in the movie Fubar.

We were wary of them because they were men, but they offered us a deal. We could stay at their place for a while as long as we provided our own food and kept their apartment clean and did their laundry.

After a few hours and some consideration, we decided to try it out. They didn't give off a "pervy" vibe or seem to be a threat. It was around this time of year and a couch to sleep on was better than sleeping outside.

And they proved to be gentlemen while we stayed with them, for a week or so.

Their English was bad. My grade-school French came in handy. I translated a few French words from letters from home into English for one of the guys. We also helped them with their English pronunciation, which was often very amusing.

It was great when they were gone for the day. We could shower, watch TV and pretend the apartment was ours.

But after a while, it was time to find somewhere else to stay so we wouldn't get caught or "found." Sadly, I never gave much of a thought to whether my parents or family were missing me.

And I don't think we ever said good-bye to those two French students. We just moved on to another apartment on Sargent Avenue.

But for what it's worth, I'm thankful for meeting them. Who knows where we would have ended up staying if we hadn't found them.

We'd had a few close calls with dangerous situations.

Looking back now it's easy to see that I was incredibly naive. I can't believe I put myself into situations where I could have easily been taken advantage of. Maybe that's part of the reason some of these girls go missing.

I'm probably lucky to be alive, considering the risks out there. Or maybe it wasn't as bad back then as it was now.

I worry about girls and women such as Tanya Nepinak. I try to remember their names and their faces. There have been so many over the years.

They make the news for awhile and then their stories seem to fade away. It doesn't mean Tanya doesn't matter, but it seems like finding her becomes even more distant.

I shudder to think what could have happened to me if I had just once picked the wrong person to trust.

Colleen Simard is a Winnipeg writer.

colleen.simard@gmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 22, 2011 J6