It has been said many times that the opposite of love is not hate but fear. Opening up one’s heart and soul to another human being is an act of supreme courage, and many people are too choked by fear to allow themselves this vulnerability.
As a result, they find themselves longing for love, but never daring to do what it takes to find it. They may end up alone, or worse, they may settle for a less-than-stellar relationship, because they don’t believe they deserve better.
There are many ways to overcome this fear, some easier than others. But sometimes, life just has a way of catching us up in its flow and taking us where we need to be. Has that ever happened to you?
Here’s my story:
In April 1991, I found myself sitting on a rock in the lovely town of La Roche-en-Ardennes, Belgium. My life was a shambles — both my chosen career and my three-year marriage were painfully obvious dead ends. I was lost and searching for my way out of a maze of depression, unhealthy behaviour and ever-deepening despair. I had built myself the life I had always thought I wanted, and it was killing me.
Does this sound familiar?
Hope had come into my life in the form of a red-headed Englishman, whom I had met the previous October. We had spent very little time together in person, because we lived on opposite sides of the Atlantic. Thanks to that newfangled thing called the Internet, we had had many deep conversations — but there was still very much the element of the unknown.
Now, at this moment, on this rock, I had to decide whether to cast away everything I had built over the previous eight years, and start a new life together. I was terrified.
As I sat there, weighing the pros and cons, a strange feeling of flow took hold of me. I had no idea how or why, but I knew, with absolute certainty, that this was a step I had to take. Fear had nothing more to do with it — I was committed to this path. The normal ups and downs of a relationship would never be able to shake that core of inevitability. I can’t tell you where this knowledge came from, but it has never wavered.
Have you ever found yourself blown towards a life-changing decision, not by external circumstance, but by internal conviction? How did you feel about it? How did the decision work out for you?
Let me know!
Hadass Eviatar is a community correspondent for West Kildonan. Check out her blog at: http://hadasseviatar.com/blog/