THE MIKE KELLY PRESS CONFERENCE

A look at the exchange between Bomber head coach and the media in his daily press conference on Wednesday, just after Director of Football Operations Ross Hodgkinson answered questions about their scout being ejected from Ticat practice:

Kelly (just after walking in with a grin on his face): "So, a whole pile of people decided to get paid today, huh? Lazy asses. Something happens and then you show up, right? OK.

Media: So something’s happened?

Kelly (pretending to be breathlessly interested): What? I don’t know. Tell me! Quick!

Media: Did you see anybody taking notes or drawing diagrams in the stands?

Kelly: Yeah, there was a group of Kindergartners out there and they had all their Crayolas and were writing feverishly.

Media: Did you have them escorted from the building?

Kelly: No, I like Kindergartners.

Media: Were you aware of the scout’s plans in Hamilton?

Kelly: Non issue. It’s handled internally. I’ve got nothing to say.

Media: It’s an issue. The CFL has sent a directive out, so...

Kelly: It’s a non-issue to me... a non-issue to me.

Media: The Tiger-Cats are accusing you of cheating. That’s not an issue, coach?

Kelly: I don’t care what anybody has to say about it. It’s a non-issue, it’s been handled internally and I’m not talking about it.

Media: You constantly tell us you’re the head of the football operations and responsible for everything.

Kelly: Right. Non-issue. Handled internally. I’m not talking about it. Now, what don’t we understand about that, OK?

Media: It seems a contradiction...

Kelly: Non-issue, handled internally. Not talking about it. There we go, we’re done. Next question.

Media: You mean handled internally with meetings...

Kelly: Do you understand what ‘internally’ means? It’s been handled internally. I’m not talking about it. It’s over with. Move on. Next question.

Media: What’s the normal procedure for pre-scouting, the relationship with your scouts, the normal operating procedure kinda thing for scouting a game?

Kelly: Sure, you tell me what ‘normal operating procedure’ is and then we’ll go from there. Next question?

Media: On a normal week would you have scouts at a practice...

Kelly: Did you not listen to anything I said. I’m not talking about this. It’s a non issue. It’s over with. It’s done. Now, unless you have something else to say I’m not talking about it. So you can take that and leave the building. It’s that easy. Do we all understand each other now? Good. Next question. Got nothing to say? Enjoy your day fellas, we’ll see you at Ivor Wynne Stadium.