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The Bombers’ contradictory coach Mike Kelly must dig himself and his boss out of one giant hole. (DAVID LIPNOWSKI / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

It seems as though dumping on Mike Kelly has become a sport unto itself.

Granted, your humble agent has dabbled in this recreational pastime, too. But what are you supposed to do?

One day, the guy is making dubious comments about not understanding why some fans are so committed to the Bombers they'll paint their faces blue. The next he's lecturing about the team's "fair-weather fans" who don't support his club just because it's losing 55-10 at home. Meanwhile, Kelly is lavishing praise on Roughriders fans who gathered behind their beloved team's bench during the final minutes of the Banjo Bowl on Sunday.

So clearly Kelly understands why people paint their faces green. Just not blue.

This is the same guy who, during a press conference Monday, begins by stating that he "doesn't pay any attention to what goes on on the outside." Then he twice proceeds to quote comments on TSN's website. Huh?

You see, it's become too easy to catch Kelly contradicting himself. You could make it a drinking game. Example: We want to change the culture and bring in character players. Oh, and does anybody have Pacman Jones's phone number?

Everybody drink.

Those of us who had the audacity to suggest Michael Bishop was not the long-term answer for the Bombers -- Hello, Milt Stegall, go powder your nose -- were patted on the head and told the grown-ups knew better. A month later, Kelly's telling everybody how Bishop not only misread passing plays during the Banjo Bowl, but running plays, too. Kelly then publicly contemplated starting newcomer Casey Bramlet on Sunday before deciding to stick with Bishop.

Everybody drink.

It goes on and on. Kelly said the Bombers' offence is the worst he's ever been associated with, but then defiantly insists the scheme not only shouldn't be changed, but the possibility of change doesn't even deserve discussion. That's like a chef cooking a meal and then declaring, "That's the worst food I've ever been associated with." So you ask the cook if he might consider changing the recipe and he says, "What are you, an idiot?"

It makes you wonder what Lyle Bauer is thinking. Really thinking, when his head hits the pillow at night. Or when the phones at Maroons Road are jammed with furious fans/customers. Because if Bauer isn't worried about his own employment, or the fullness of his legacy, then I'd be flabbergasted.

Look, I understand that Kelly is only 10 games into this, and he should be given a fair chance to succeed or fail on his own merit, but the level of unrest and anger out there is unprecedented. Say what you want about the Jeff Reinebold, but fans loved him, even felt empathy for him, to the bitter end.

Kelly, on the other hand, has the uncanny ability to turn folks off. He just doesn't say, "Hey, look, I'm just as frustrated as anybody. But I know this system can work. I've had success with it before. Please be patient." And leave it there. No, Kelly says, "Google me, I've had success elsewhere."

"Google me?" Really, Mike?

It's a shame, in a sense. Because Kelly, one-on-one, can be a very engaging person. He can laugh, even at himself. There's no questioning his passion for football and his tireless work ethic. On the field, there's been significant improvement to the Bombers' secondary and special teams, just not the most crucial position on the field.

And for all the tense media scrums, it's not like Kelly has gone all Adam Rita on anybody. Kelly handles the press far better than most, and he's been absolutely hammered.

Yet those positives can be left in shambles with every ill-advised utterance and defeat.

Is it too late for the Bombers to salvage this season? Can Kelly somehow manage to win back the fans he has offended and alienated? Well, anything's possible. But time and chronic missteps are working against them both.

At this rate, Kelly is blowing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. After all, it's not like he was some hotshot co-ordinator coming off a Grey Cup appearance when he landed this prestigious gig. He was a professor of sports management of a small American college, after being fired as head coach at a small American college, who spent last year as the receivers coach with the Edmonton Eskimos. His relatively successful days as the Bombers' offensive co-ordinator were some 15 years in the rear-view mirror.

Yet Kelly got a job that hundreds of other football coaches would have brained their grandmothers for, and Bauer handed it to him on a silver platter.

The result so far has been a losing football team and one public-relations disaster after another. And if the Bombers don't start winning, and yesterday, it might only be the beginning of the end -- a frightening prospect, indeed.

But, hey, the locker-room is still tight, the distractions have had no adverse affects on the team, the coach's job is safe and the president and CEO stands by his decision.

Everybody drink.

randy.turner@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 17, 2009 ??65535