Enlarge Image

Doug Brown is greeted by fans Monday upon the Bombers' return from Vancouver. One youngster even crafted a personal Grey Cup for the veteran nose tackle. (KEN GIGLIOTTI / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

It is the most emotionally conflicted you will ever be as a football player. Walking off an airplane the day after a Grey Cup loss and being greeted by thunderous applause from several hundred of your most loyal supporters.

Unfortunately, having done this twice before, I knew it was coming, yet there is still no way to prepare yourself for it.

On the best of days after a defeat, as a professional football player, or an athlete, you are deflated by the loss. At the most basic of levels, you are paid by your fan base to win games and to represent them at the highest level possible in a successful fashion. When that doesn't happen, you feel guilty, accountable to their disappointment, and responsible as an individual and a contributing member of a team that didn't live up to their end of the bargain.

On the worst of days, you have the scenario as it unfolded Monday.

We went into the championship game against B.C. a very confident group. While the film and records revealed evidence that the Lions had improved exponentially as a team since the two times we had had success against them, we still felt we matched up very well and were capable of performing at the same level. Whether we were surprised by their polish and execution, overwhelmed by what seemed to be 50,000 or more of their loyal supporters in an unfamiliar and deafening environment, not playing at the same level as we were when we first defeated them, or a combination of all three, the expectation for victory was there.

We had a chance to be members of the football team that erased the longest-standing Grey Cup drought in Winnipeg history, and now we are just another team that contributed to it. We had an opportunity to elevate from a last-place team in 2010 to a first-place team in the entire CFL, and now we will have to settle for second place for the fifth time in the last 20 years. On the eve of your greatest opportunities for glory and redemption, also sits the possibility for the grandest and most devastating of failures.

So under these conditions, we were greeted by a large contingent of what is surely the lifeblood of support for this franchise, and I would be shocked if I was alone with the overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame, as we were treated to a hero's welcome.

By the nature of their actions alone, showing up to cheer on and welcome back a team that had to have disappointed them on some level, makes it even more clear to the athlete that represents them, that these fans deserved something special and historic in return, rather than just another second-place finish. By nature of their very graciousness and forgiveness, you actually realize you are even more indebted to them.

There were flags and signs and jerseys and horns everywhere. I was given two bags of treats for my dog Samuel, and a little boy proudly handed over to me a home made replica Grey Cup that he expertly crafted with aluminum foil and cardboard. It happens to be the only Grey Cup I have ever put my hands on in 11 years in the CFL, and it was presented to me the day after our defeat in Vancouver. Even while I was penning this column, a neighbour from down the street -- Tony, whom I had never even met before -- walked up to my house, rang the doorbell, and handed me a bottle of 2002 Dom Perignon, for our efforts in the game, and in appreciation of my time served with this community-owned football team. In one day you can be overwhelmed by the sadness of unfulfilled dreams, and the next, by the unwavering support you still receive.

So if you were at the airport and didn't quite receive the reaction you expected from some of the players, trust me when I say, it's not you, it's me. It's times like these when confronted by countless supporters that bleed blue and gold, that you have an honest accounting with yourself and a realization that we are treated better than we deserve.

Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for this organization.

Doug Brown, always a hard-hitting defensive lineman and frequently a hard-hitting columnist, appears Tuesdays in the Free Press.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 29, 2011 C1