Why there's a disconnect between pro athletes and Joe Fan, chapter 2,738:
Washington Wizards rookie Chris Singleton, wanting to improve his chances of winning last week's $640 million Mega Millions lottery jackpot, spent $10,000 on tickets, then told the world about it on Twitter.
"Either that or blow it in the club," he told The Washington Post.
Rx for fun
Hear about the Cape Cod urologist's Final Four special? Watch hoops, get a reduced-rate vasectomy and eat free pizza.
No word whether, in keeping with the theme, he was charging by the slice.
Bad Pitt stop
Pitt linebacker Carl Fleming, who allegedly tried to swallow a plastic bag full of a green, leafy substance during a minor traffic stop, has been charged with two counts of aggravated assault, resisting arrest, drug possession, tampering with evidence, among other offences.
On the bright side, though, cops did credit him with half a sack.
One-and done dept.
"Augusta National might admit a female member?" tweeted Dan Daly of the Washington Times. "My money's on her to win the mixed-pairs club championship -- for the next decade."
One for the Roses
The new Marlins Park in Miami includes a fish tank behind
home plate and a bobblehead museum with 588 "inductees" on display.
Pete Rose's bobblehead, when last seen, was still petitioning to get in.
Cutting the Cards
Stanford All-American Nneka Ogwumike is leaving for the WNBA, leaving little sister Chiney behind on The Farm.
"I'm splitting my body in half," Chiney told the San Jose Mercury News, "and I'm losing half of it."
Talking the talk
-- Budd Bailey of the Buffalo (N.Y.) News, on John Daly announcing he'll be spending a lot of time at the Augusta Hooters during Masters week: "Now there's a tradition unlike any other."
-- Vancouver (B.C.) comic Torben Rolfsen, on 49-year-old Jamie Moyer's favorite place to pitch: "Jurassic Park."
-- Kentucky coach John Calipari, to reporters, when asked if it's difficult to get young blue-chip talent to jell as a team: "I'll tell you what's hard -- coaching bad players."
-- Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, not impressed with the Mariners and A's opening the MLB season in Tokyo: "What's next? Japan opening its sumo-wrestling season in Des Moines, Iowa?"
Pass the Mylanta
The rotating sideline message board at Monday's Kentucky-Kansas title game, touting next year's Final Four in Georgia, referred to the 2013 site as "Alanta."
Hidebound traditionalists immediately blamed it on a one-and-done English major.
-- The Seattle Times