Sideline chatter

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Minnesota Twins first baseman Justin Morneau. (TRIBUNE MEDIA MCT)

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Ex-Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox. (CP)

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South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier (TRIBUNE MEDIA MCT)

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Swoosh.

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Jason Varitek. (CP)

We interrupt our usual litany of coddled, complaining and misbehaving athletes to bring you some perspective.

In this case, it's Twins first baseman Justin Morneau, the former MVP reduced to a shell of his all-star self the past two seasons because of concussions and injuries.

"It's the old saying, 'This game will humble you,' " Morneau told the St. Paul Pioneer Press. "You feel like you've got it figured out, you've got the game where you want it, and then it has a way of letting you know the game's always bigger than you. It always has been.

"Whether you're here or not, the game's going to go on, and enjoy your time when you're in it, and feel fortunate every day you get to put that uniform on."

Duck & cover dept.

A rare piece of Oregon Ducks golf memorabilia -- a Nike STR8-Fit VR -- S Driver featuring the same liquid-metal process as the team's Rose Bowl helmets -- sold for $1,520 in an online auction last Sunday.

Added bonus: Your shot flies in the shape of a Nike swoosh when you hook it.

Headlines

-- At Fark.com: "Good news: Penn State to face 'unprecedented' sanctions. Bad news: The death penalty is precedented."

-- At TheOnion.com: "Retired Bobby Cox ejected from Atlanta Cracker Barrel for record 27th time."

What's on second?

The Cubs surrendered a record-tying seven two-baggers in the seventh inning of a 12-0 loss to the Cardinals on July 21.

Cubbies pitchers, we assume, had no problems drowning their sorrows: "Bartender, make it a double."

Cooking the numbers

In one of baseball's more misleading stats -- thanks to baseball's multiple layers of playoffs added since 1969 -- ex-Red Sox captain Jason Varitek was lauded for ranking third all-time with 58 post-season starts at catcher, only three behind Yogi Berra's mark of 61.

For a different perspective -- in terms of World Series starts behind the plate -- it's Berra 61, Varitek 7.

Quote marks

-- South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier, to reporters, when asked if he intentionally scheduled a bye the Saturday before playing Arkansas: "You think I make the schedule? If I made the schedule, Georgia'd be playing LSU and we'd be playing Ole Miss."

-- Comedy writer Alan Ray, on the Dodgers and Cubs talking trade: "The Dodgers will get Matt Garza. The Cubs will get a player to be disgruntled later."

-- Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, when Lions defensive end Cliff Avril said he wasn't mad about being paid $10.6 million this season after getting slapped with the franchise tag: "It takes a special kind of guy."

-- Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on critics who say the U.S. men's basketball team is playing a creampuff exhibition schedule: "I only hope that this doesn't detract from Team USA's 189-6 victory over the Washington Generals."

-- The Seattle Times

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 29, 2012 A1