Guess we'll see if Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is still good at blocking shots
Said the 7-2 Lakers Hall of Famer, at the unveiling of his 16-foot statue outside Staples Center: "I'm glad we got here before the pigeons got to it."
Luckily, the bronzed Kareem is depicted wearing goggles.
-- At SportsPickle.com: "Hungover Jim Delany: 'Please tell me I didn't ask Maryland and Rutgers to join the conference last night.' "
-- At TheOnion.com: "Cool new Lakers coach doesn't make team play defence."
Yankee doodle doggie
Yankees second baseman Robinson Cano was sworn in as a U.S. citizen this week.
Eyewitnesses said it was Cano, all right -- he didn't exactly hustle up the line to get his papers.
Join the experts
John Gagliardi, 86, retiring from Division III St. John's (Minn.) after amassing the most seasons (64) and wins (489) of any football coach in NCAA history, says he's looking forward to just sitting in the stands next season.
"I'll get up there and know everything," he deadpanned to AP, "just like the fans always seem to do."
The write stuff
-- Mike Bianchi of The Orlando Sentinel, on Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera capturing the American League MVP award: "In related news, baseball writers from Florida got their ballots in three days late and voted for Carl Yastrzemski."
-- Obituary in The Kansas City Star, listing the cause of death for Loren G. (Sam) Lickteig: "Complications from MS and heartbreaking disappointment caused by the Kansas City Chiefs football team."
-- Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Maryland and Rutgers becoming the 13th and 14th members of the Big Ten: "And we wonder why football players are bad at math."
-- Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on teams called Giants winning this year's Super Bowl, World Series and Japanese World Series: "Bet on Goliath if he can get a rematch."
Out of place
Florida International and Florida Atlantic's football teams--a combined 5-15 -- will battle for the Shula Bowl trophy on Friday.
"Anybody else think it strange that the NFL's all-time winningest coach is aligned with these schools?" wrote Greg Cote of the Miami Herald. "Sort of like the Sir Laurence Olivier Regional Dinner Theatre."
Pain is no fantasy
Two NFL stars -- tight end Rob Gronkowski (broken arm) and Eagles running back LeSean McCoy (concussion) -- got injured last Sunday while playing in the closing minutes of blowout games.
"Serves 'em right," said absolutely no one who owns Gronkowski or McCoy in a fantasy football league.
-- The Seattle Times