Truth in advertising? Not necessarily in the NBA
"I think everything sounds good," commissioner David Stern told USA Today after the New Orleans Hornets announced they will change their nickname to Pelicans. "I think Lakers, have you seen any lakes in Los Angeles?
"There's the same amount of lakes in L.A. as there is jazz in Utah, or grizzlies in Memphis."
New York Jets coach Rex Ryan ran a red light in Bethlehem, Pa., causing a three-car accident and an unforgettable scene.
Police issued him a warning. Ryan threw his red challenge flag.
-- At TheOnion.com: "'I was one of several people duped,' Manti Te'o tells scarecrow dressed as Katie Couric."
-- At SportsPickle.com: "SEC approves immediate introduction of tackling to college basketball."
Hockey icon Wayne Gretzky has put his estate in Thousand Oaks, Calif. -- featuring a six-bedroom, 10,815-square-foot home -- on the market for $14,995,000.
If it's opulence you want, real-estate agents say, this is a great one.
The Cleveland Cavaliers have introduced a "Manti Te'o Kiss Cam" at Quicken Loans Arena, encouraging lone male fans to kiss:
a) an imaginary girlfriend.
b) the 11-32 Cavs' playoff hopes goodbye.
Former Raiders receivers Tim Brown and Jerry Rice say coach Bill Callahan intentionally sabotaged the team's chances in Super Bowl XXXVII with an 11th-hour change in game plans.
Bet that didn't make Callahan's day.
Talking the talk
-- Brad Rock of the Deseret News, anticipating a big turnout for Australia's Nude Olympics: "Though for some reason the number of participants in the fencing competition is down."
-- Baseball Hall of Famer Yogi Berra, when asked what he wanted his tombstone to read: "That's easy: 'It's over.'"
-- NBC's Jay Leno, on speculation the U.S. Postal Service will sue to get its cycling sponsorship money back: "Lance Armstrong could end up as broke as the post office."
Built for rollouts
QB bust JaMarcus Russell -- out of the NFL since 2009 -- says he's reduced his weight from 320 to 308 and is mulling a comeback.
As what, a pulling guard?
-- The Seattle Times