Sideline chatter

Remember the Bud Bowl?

Ron Kantowski of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, tongue in cheek, tracked down The Freezer, one of the beers that starred in those now-defunct Super Bowl spoof ads from 1989 to 1997.

"The biggest, baddest bottle on the planet -- 40 ounces of mayhem and a twist top -- lives mostly off royalties from 'The Super Beer Shuffle' and income from sports-memorabilia shows," Kantowski reported. "The Freezer has gained weight. He looks to be at least 55 ounces. Bigger than a dorm-room pony keg.

"The Freezer says it could be worse. Much worse. Despite repeated hits to the bottle cap, he got out of the cooler with his carbonation intact."

Almost perfect

Only thing that marred Saturday's story line when Indiana met Michigan to decide college basketball's No. 1 ranking:

Wolverines coach John Beilein isn't married to a Harbaugh sister.

Forget Disney World

The folks at Jell-O say they will hand out thousands of free cups of their colorful dessert Tuesday in the city of the losing Super Bowl team.

Fans will get their choice of flavors--lime, orange or sour grape.

It only takes one

"Oprah? Katie Couric? Bob Costas?" mused Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot.

"Just wondering who Alex Rodriguez might want to select for his eventual interview and/or confession."

See? There's hope

Chin up, Washington Generals fans: The California Institute of Technology ended its 228-game baseball losing streak Saturday with a 9-7 victory over Pacifica.

The Beavers hadn't won a game since Feb. 15, 2003.

Hoofing it

"By the way, I tried some of that deer-antler spray the other day," wrote Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel.

"It didn't make me feel any better, but at night I got these uncontrollable urges to run out of the woods and dart in front of cars."

Talking the talk

-- Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on this year's 24 Hours of Daytona race featuring a Mazda that ran on biofuel made from chicken guts, pork lard and beef tallow: "Or as NASCAR fans call that, Sunday dinner."

-- Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, with a Super Bowl exclusive: "Ray Lewis has changed his mind about retiring, and the Harbaughs aren't really related."

-- Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on the fog-delayed Farmer's Insurance Open in San Diego: "It was so foggy, Tiger Woods accidentally hit on his ex-wife."

Naming rites

Attention, Red Sox: You might want to get in on this, too.

Mississippi, Nebraska and North Carolina are hot on the trail of this high-school baseball recruit from Boca Raton, Fla.: junior second baseman Fenway Parks.

It's just too bad Dick Pole never had a son named Pesky.

-- The Seattle Times

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