Sideline chatter

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Los Angeles Lakers' Kobe Bryant smiles during the second half of the NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets at the Barclays Center Tuesday, Feb. 5, 2013 in New York. The Lakers beat the Nets 92-83. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig) (CP)

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OTTAWA 09/09/07 - GOTCHA! Ari the dog, a hound/collie mix, catches a yellow Frisbee. The dog, is owned by OPS police chief vern White's 19-year-old daughter, Chelsea. 19th annual Wiggle Waggle Walkathon, Arboretum, Central Experimental Farm. Photo by MIKE CARROCCETTO, THE OTTAWA CITIZEN / CANWEST NEWS SERVICE (For CITY story by STANDALONE) NEG# 85989 closecut close cut (CNS)

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Wayne Gretzky watches his drive from the 12th tee during the second round of the BMW Charity Pro-Am golf tournament at The Cliffs at Walnut Cove on Friday, April 28, 2006, in Arden, N.C. (AP Photo/Asheville Citizen-Times, John Fletcher) (AP)

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FILE--New York Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens throws a bat head in the direction of Mike Piazza of the Mets as Piazza runs towards first base in the first inning of Game 2 Sunday, Oct. 22, 2000 at Yankee Stadium in New York. Piazza's bat broke as he swung, the ball going foul. The bat shattered and came close to Clemens, who then picked up the broken bat and threw it in the direction of Piazza. Clemens was fined $50,000 Tuesday, Oct.24, 2000 for throwing the jagged barrel of a shattered bat toward New York Mets catcher Mike Piazza in Game 2 of the World Series. (AP Photo/The New York Times, Barton Silverman) (ASSOCIATED PRESS)

Mike Piazza wore the tools of ignorance, but he wasn't stupid

The ex-Mets catcher had hatched a detailed plan to charge the mound on Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens -- and avenge a regular-season beaning -- when the teams met again in the 2000 World Series. But when the opportunity came in Game 2, Piazza didn't budge -- even when Clemens buzzed him with a pitch and flung a broken-bat shard his way.

"There were complications," Piazza wrote in Long Shot, his new book. "The least of them was the realization that Clemens was a big guy, and I stood a pretty fair chance of getting my ass kicked in front of Yankee Stadium and the world. That was a legitimate concern."

NBA headlines

At TheOnion.com: "Kobe Bryant holds Kobe Bryant-only meeting to discuss Lakers."

At SportsPickle.com: "Latest check from 'Linsanity' copyright nets Jeremy Lin $1.37."

Hold that line

Nothing tight about this tight end: Patriots star Rob Gronkowski ventured into a Las Vegas bar on Super Bowl Sunday -- and ran up a $9,615 tab.

He knows C-sickness

"I've seen worse," bragged one passenger as he disembarked from the ill-fated Carnival Cruise ship Triumph. "But then again, I'm a Cubs fan."

A fetching idea

"Winners at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show were selected on criteria including countenance, carriage, coat and attentiveness," noted Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald. "If I was in charge, it'd solely be based on Frisbee-catching ability."

Cats or dogs?

The 12-40 Charlotte Bobcats have a better chance of winning:

a) the NBA playoffs.

b) the Westminster Dog Show.

Quote marks

Seattle Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez said it's "ridiculous" for Big Ten teams to schedule non-conference football games against FCS foes: "Yeah, tell it to Michigan and Appalachian State."

Seattle Times reader Charlie Gay, on golfer Phil Mickelson's new one-man political crusade: "The anti-tax Tee Party."

Comedy writer Alan Ray, on the Yankees' aging roster: "That's not Gatorade in their dugout jug -- it's Metamucil."

NBC's Jay Leno, after Pope Benedict XVI cited physical problems for his surprise resignation: "Apparently it's an old football injury from throwing all those Hail Marys."

Not so fast, Wayne

Maybe Wayne Gretzky should take up speed golf.

"The genius of Gretzky was that he took the world's fastest game and slowed it dowwwwn," wrote Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. "He can't do that with golf, which is already slower than room service in Hell."

--The Seattle Times

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 24, 2013 A1