Looks like the grass is greener on the other end of the fairway, too
Tiger Woods, after plummeting as low as 58th, returned to No. 1 in the world golf rankings this week after an 877-day absence. Or as skier Lindsey Vonn tweeted: "No. 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Yes, she used 13 exclamation points," wrote Robert Lusetich of FoxSports.com. "And it just may be that her man deserves every one of them, because climbing back to the top from the abyss of scandal, divorce, injury and a broken golf game has been one of the greatest achievements of his career."
-- At SportsPickle.com: "MLS announces plans to play all of its games in heavy snow."
-- At TheOnion.com: "Charlotte Bobcats get lost while driving to basket."
The minor-league Lehigh Valley (Pa.) IronPigs' fan offerings even extend to the men's restrooms this season -- specifically, an interactive, patron-powered "urinal gaming system."
It's not a good thing, we assume, to hear the game tell you: "Just a bit outside."
Hold that Tiger
Josh Pastner, Memphis' baby-faced basketball coach, has agreed in principle to a contract extension.
No terms were announced, but it's believed it'll keep him with the Tigers through age 21.
President Obama made history Tuesday when he named his new Secret Service director by appointing the position's first-ever:
a) woman (Julia Pierson)
b) football coach (Bill Belichick)
1 out of 2 ain't bad
Bodybuilding guru Joe Weider died last week at age 93.
"In 1969 he got Arnold Schwarzenegger his very first acting job," noted NBC's Jay Leno. "So hopefully he will be remembered for the good things he did."
Talking the talk
-- Seattle Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on ex-Steelers QB Kordell Stewart filing for divorce: "His marital status is now separated/slash/single."
-- NBC's Jimmy Fallon, on bracket-busting Florida Gulf Coast University: "Even the University of Phoenix Online was like, 'Who?' "
-- San Diego State guard Jamaal Franklin, to the Delaware County (Pa.) Times, on what he knew about FGCU: "It's in Florida."
'Bullitt' it's not
Fox is making plans for a series called The Run of His Life: The People V. O.J. Simpson.
Spoiler alert: Episodes 7-10 are nothing but low-speed chase scenes.
Join the chorus
"There are so many TV voices competing for attention during the NCAA men's basketball tournament," noted Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, "that I could swear I heard the Geico gecko breaking down the matchups in the Midwest Region."
--The Seattle Times