Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Sideline chatter

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Peace in our time? The Middle East might get better odds than Sergio Garcia and Tiger Woods.

"He called me a whiner. That's probably right," Garcia said of his golf rival at a London sponsor's event. "It's also probably the first thing he's told you guys that's true in 15 years. I know what he is like. You guys are finding out . . .

"He can, and will, beat me a lot of times, but he is not going to step on me. I'm not afraid of him."

Headlines

-- At Yahoo.com: "Dwight Howard is displeased with Lakers coach Mike D'Antoni because of course he is."

-- At SportsPickle.com: "Report: Rob Gronkowski currently not undergoing surgery."

This roid's for you

The British Horseracing Authority says seven steeds have tested positive for steroids.

Coincidence? All seven had landed side jobs pulling the Budweiser wagon.

Schizo 'Stros

The Houston Astros are on pace to:

a) Lose 115 games.

b) Win 108 -- if every game were against the Mariners.

Already 0-1 on grass

Akron cornerback Seth Cunningham has been charged with stealing a $447 bong at gunpoint, the Medina County Gazette reported.

Veteran football pundits were stunned: A defensive player resorting to a pistol offense?

High, hard one

Scientists say an asteroid is about to pass within 3 million miles of earth.

Or, as Bob Uecker put it: "Just a bit outside."

Winning isn't everything

Vinny Del Negro has been jettisoned as coach of the L.A. Clippers despite guiding the team to its first division title and a club-record 56 wins.

In other words, he just won the Marty Schottenheimer Award.

Sports quiz

"Super Bowl L" is:

a) The 2016 title game just awarded to Santa Clara, Calif.

b) Any one of the four that the Buffalo Bills played in.

Quote marks

-- Jeff Schultz of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, on Redskins fans flooding millionaire QB Robert Griffin III with wedding gifts: "Nice to know that so many people who probably wouldn't give a can of soup for a food drive will buy new sheets for RGIII."

-- Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, after Alabama football coach Nick Saban called it "terribly disappointing" that a Florida assistant referred to him as the devil: " 'Hey, being compared to Saban isn't exactly a thrill for me, either,' said Satan."

-- Michael Rosenberg of SI.com, on baseball's all-time worst teams: "Being that bad is almost an art. The 2003 Tigers (43-119) had as many six-game losing streaks as two-game winning streaks. Ponder that one for a moment."

-- Rangers manager Ron Washington, to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, after the Tigers' Miguel Cabrera hit three homers in their series finale: "I'm very happy that he's headed to the airport."

-- The Seattle Times

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 26, 2013 B8

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