Bag limit: one
Forget cats stuck in a tree. A Monroe County (Fla.) sheriff's deputy had to remove a Doritos bag that got stuck over a deer's head.
Wildlife agents suspect it must've gotten the munchies after a whiff of deer-antler spray.
Bengals still a punchline
Chicago Police say they've arrested the same woman 396 times since 1978.
Shermain Miles, in her latest court appearance, pleaded guilty to attacking a city alderman, trespassing, public drinking and unlawfully impersonating a Cincinnati Bengal.
Pardon his French
Rafael Nadal captured a record eighth French Open title -- then slipped from fourth to fifth in the world rankings.
Bet that's the last time they let Florida tally up the points.
-- At Fark.com: "Alabama fan who poisoned Auburn oak trees free to take up roots in Louisiana."
-- At CBSsports.com: "Ocho clinko."
Let's spend two
Police in Chicago arrested a man and a woman for allegedly using counterfeit bills to purchase items at Wrigley Field concessions stands.
Incredulous investigators say they'd never seen Ernie Banks' likeness on a $20 bill before.
Want to get away?
"That block. Did you see it?" wrote SI.com's Michael Rosenberg of LeBron James' highlight-reel rejection in Game 2. "San Antonio's Tiago Splitter went up for a dunk, and by the time he landed, he knew he would have to grow a beard, change his name and move to a country without YouTube."
-- Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after Mike Tyson danced with host Neil Patrick Harris at the Tony Awards: "That sounds like something I'd dream if I ate right before bedtime."
-- Buster Olney of ESPN.com, on the NL's hottest team: "Pitching to the St. Louis Cardinals is like standing on a hill of fire ants. You might get one or two of them, but the rest will keep coming, and they will get you."
-- Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, on Belmont Stakes winner Palace Malice being named for a 1949 Three Stooges comedy short: "I guess it's a better name than... Nyuk Nyuk.'"
Stat of the Week
From RJ Bell of Pregame.com: "Among the last 25 Heisman winners, only one quarterback has won an NFL playoff game: Tim Tebow."
-- The Seattle Times