Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/8/2013 (1126 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Thirty-some knee operations -- so what?
"What good is it to be 96 years old and have this great body that you never used?" University of Minnesota wrestling coach J Robinson, 67 -- fresh off another knee-replacement surgery -- told the St. Paul Pioneer Press. "Who wants to die with a body that's in great shape? I want mine totally worn out, thoroughly used up.
"It's like I tell people -- you buy two cars in 1946. One of them goes 50,000 (miles), one of them goes 400,000. You're going to wear out the parts.
"Have you ever seen an Indy 500 car? They don't have their original parts, either, and they work pretty good."
Start leaking the news
The World Anti-Doping Agency revoked the license of a Rio de Janeiro anti-doping lab hired to handle player samples for the upcoming World Cup for "repeated failures" in its work.
Veteran drug-watchers predict a lot of needling from rival labs.
Winning for losing
The hapless Houston Astros are expected to post the biggest operating margin in Major League Baseball this year.
In other words, they're on pace to finish 107 games under .500 -- and $99 million over.
Paging Adrian Peterson
The Minnesota Vikings are locked in a big land dispute over the site of their proposed new stadium.
In keeping with the theme, team lawyers are working extra hard on their ground game.
Candace Parker tackled L.A. Sparks teammate Nneka Ogwumike to celebrate after an OT win -- opening a bloody cut around Ogwumike's left eye.
And putting Parker atop the watch list for this year's Gramatica Award.
-- Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post, after manager Wayne Thorne of England's Larkhill Athletic awoke from a coma when his wife told him his team won 4-3: "Seven goals in a soccer game? That really is an eye-opener."
-- Mike Hart of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, on Ryan Braun issuing a 944-word apology while the Gettysburg Address was only 272: "Now we know Honest Abe wasn't on PEDs."
-- Gerry Callahan of the Boston Herald, on the Patriots' Tim Tebow: "Watching him play quarterback after Tom Brady is like watching (Jose) Canseco relieve Sandy Koufax."
Tuesday night was Prostate Cancer Awareness Night at the Lehigh Valley (Pa.) IronPigs minor-league baseball game, and the first 3,500 through the gates received -- no kidding -- a big foam finger.
Bet they can't wait for Glove Night.
-- The Seattle Times