Well, Al Capone only got busted for tax evasion, didn't he?
A naked woman riding a motorcycle got pulled over in Constanta, Romania, and cops -- stumped to come up with a better charge -- finally ticketed her for riding without a helmet.
Might be a tie, though
"Reports are the NFL might suspend its Pro Bowl all-star game as a possible precursor to eliminating it altogether," wrote Greg Cote of The Miami Herald. "Fans of the Pro Bowl are outraged. Well, one fan is. I couldn't reach the other one."
Burning their draft card
"I don't want to say that the Cleveland Browns are a bad team," wrote Gary Bachman on Facebook, "but two players they drafted have fled to Canada."
-- Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on news that the BCS is possibly moving toward a four-team playoff: "This means that the Weekly World News' 'Brazilian Man Eats Two of His Own Toes' is only the second-most shocking headline of the month."
-- Golden State Warriors centre Andrew Bogut, to the San Francisco Chronicle, on why he doesn't have a posse: "What would you do with 'em when you retire? They'd just be looking at you."
-- Seattle Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on what the Coyotes' Raffi Torres plans to do during his 25-game suspension: "Pray for World Peace."
-- Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, after football coach John L. Smith quit Weber State after just five months to replace Bobby Petrino at Arkansas: "Weber State, you just got Kardashianed."
Hear about the latest Pro Bowl proposal, in which the NFL all-stars play the Cincinnati Bengals?
They'd call it the Pro and Con Bowl.
Leave 'em laughing
CBC's Don Cherry took to Twitter to describe beleaguered Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo as "the biggest escape goat of all time."
Maybe, but wouldn't Luongo have to get run out of Vancouver first?
No wonder the Detroit Tigers released veteran infielder Brandon Inge.
"Since the start of the 2011 season," wrote Michael Rosenberg of the Detroit Free Press. "Inge has hit .190, with a .255 on-base percentage and .284 slugging percentage. How awful is that? Well, last season batters went .192/.242/.313 against Justin Verlander.
"Inge turned every pitcher in the major leagues into Justin Verlander."
The Clippers' Blake Griffin shot air balls on back-to-back free throws against the Hawks last month.
On the plus side, he's now an honorary member of the North Korean Aeronautical Society.
-- The Seattle Times