JUST before New Year, as I awaited the birth of my daughter's first child, I was moved to write a column passing on parenting lessons to Erin (Thoughts for a special mom-to-be, Dec. 30).
Last week, I was still receiving letters in response.
One was from Myles Rothman -- a man I came to know four years ago when he spearheaded a drive to free a friend's son from a hellish prison in Ecuador. His name was Joe Stone Lamontagne.
Myles and I bonded during the time I was writing about Joe. That's how Myles came to pass along some thoughts of his own.
Not about parenting. About grandparenting.
The letter was meant to be personal, but Myles agreed to allow me to share with you.
* * *
"Gord, you are entering a world that you could only have imagined. Sometimes I think that I was put on this Earth to be a grandfather -- Zaida, for me.
"It has opened new doors to my imagination and new avenues to my heart. I can no longer remember my life without Sam and my new granddaughter, Noah.
"Sam is 39 months old now (but who's counting) and every single day since he was born I tell him I love him while I drive to work and I really believe he hears me.
"Now I say those words twice -- once for each of them.
"I'll underscore it all with a quick story.
"My son Daniel, my daughter-in-law Jordana and Sam were over for dinner one evening. Sam was not quite two.
"Daniel expressed his displeasure with Sam for dropping food on the floor. Daniel said, 'Sam, Mommy's unhappy, Daddy's unhappy, Grandma's unhappy and Zaida's unhappy. Why are we unhappy, Sam?'
"Sam looked around the room, his eyes darting to each one of us, his chin buried in his chest. Suddenly, he looked up and said, 'Zaida's my friend.'
"That's what it's all about, Gord.
"It's about special relationships and the knowledge that we, as grandparents, have so much to offer. It's a different kind of love -- unqualified and encompassed by the wisdom we have gathered through the years.
"We provide another source of security and comfort and unbridled love.
"We give them the freedom to learn, to explore and to be themselves. We're as important to them as they are to us."
* * *
Last week, I also received a telephone call from a woman named Betsy. She had read what I'd written about teaching children respect and grace -- and modelling both as parents -- but she had been particularly impressed with something a reader who happened to be a pastor's wife added as another pillar of parenting.
Purpose.
Then she offered an example of how to teach purpose.
"I was raised by a grandmother who would come in the morning and wake us with the question: 'There's a lot of work to do in the world today. Where would you like to start?' "
"As I child," Betsy continued, "I looked forward to it as welcome to my day, a welcome to my life and a challenge that I still engage in every day."
It's clear to me now what a grandparent's purpose is.
But grandparenting is something else.
It's licence to put on a superhero costume and be a kid again -- with a kid.
And the birth of our grandchildren offers something else for the baby-boom generation, something suitably selfish, perhaps.
A chance at rebirth.
Another chance to get it right.
gordon.sinclair@freepress.mb.ca
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