As we look forward to the birth of our second grandchild in late July, our excitement grows by the day. For Muslims, the birth of a child is a time of celebration and feasting. A time to give thanks to the Creator for bestowing us with the most precious gift -- a part of us that will carry on our name and be a source of joy and happiness in this life and a source of peace and forgiveness in the next (God willing).
This excitement is also mixed with feelings of apprehension and deep reflection. For Muslims children are more than a gift -- they are a trust from Allah and a trial. They are a trust because we are responsible and accountable for them to Allah. Therefore, the task of parenting is a duty we take very seriously. For every word, every deed, every action that the child learns from his parents, whether good or bad, they are held accountable. It is only after the age of maturity that the burdens of one's action become one's own. They are a trial because God states in the Quran that our children can be a test for our commitment to our faith, since our love for them can tempt us to cross the boundaries of religion or we may indulge in excesses to please them.
The love Muslim parents hold for their children is guided and inspired by the love they hold for the Creator. The moral, spiritual, emotional and physical well-being of the children is considered more important than the material and worldly indulgences many of us are tempted to fulfil. Muslim parents are required by shariah to protect their children from harmful influences, indecent behaviours and a spiritually deficient lifestyle.
Even before the child is born, and even earlier when we choose a spouse, we have to be cognizant of the fact that this choice will affect our children and we must make a wise choice when choosing a parent for them.
The prenatal care of the child is the responsibility of both parents -- they include a good diet, happy environment and protection from stress, fear and harm. The mother is to be emotionally nourished and she is expected to be spiritually active in prayers and recitation of the Quran. The father contributes by being supportive and spiritually attuned. Anything deemed harmful to the baby is to be avoided as a mandatory requirement of parenthood rather than as a matter of choice.
There are different cultural rituals around childbirth in various Muslim countries, but the faith requirements are universal. For example, at the time of birth, the call to prayer (Adhan) is to be recited in the baby's ears in Arabic regardless of the language the parents speak. Anyone can offer this -- however, preference in most cultures is given to an elder in the family.
It is also mandatory to circumcise a male child. It is also recommended to slaughter either a goat or sheep (if one can afford it) and to share the meat with the needy people and with family and friends. This usually turns into a feast that all are invited to and also serves as a way of introducing the child to the community. This celebration is called the Aqiqah. Many Muslims also practise the Prophet's advice to shave the baby's head as part of the Aqiqah ceremony and then give the weight of the hair in silver to charity.
While parenting is a lifelong responsibility, as I am coming to recognize, grand-parenting has its own unique requirements. Grandparents serve as surrogate parents with whom the child is safe, looked after and loved unconditionally. Grandparents in Muslim cultures have a central role in child rearing. In some Arab cultures, the first male child is given the name of the grandfather. In South Asian cultures, the grandparents choose the name of the first grandchild. However, these are cultural tradition and not binding on the parents.
As I prepare to be a grandmother for the second time around, I am praying again that I can be as good a grandmother as mine was to me. My paternal grandmother was my teacher, mentor and inspiration. Her unwavering faith in all times of distress fostered in us a resilient spirit and an ever-thankful heart. To this day, when I am feeling overwhelmed with life's burdens, I close my eyes and see her dimpled smile and feel her arms around me giving me sanctuary and whispering a prayer in my ear as I play with her rosary. I hope that my grandchildren will have similar memories of me.
Shahina Siddiqui of Winnipeg is president of the Islamic Social Services Association of Canada.
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