Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 4/7/2014 (995 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Aleksandra Petrovic takes a drag of her ultra-slim cigarette and tells me helmets are not the law when cycling in Serbia.
"They are highly recommended, but you don't have to if you don't want to," she said.
This is all fascinating information, especially since Petrovic is the guide for our iBike tour of Serbia's cosmopolitan capital of Belgrade.
The tour group of 24, my wife and I are with just arrived in picturesque Old Town Belgrade on a Danube River cruise aboard the elegant Viking Rinda.
Being compliant North Americans, everyone in our group opts for head protection, while Petrovic and the three other female guides give them a pass.
Our prudish group also casts a second glance at the guides' unofficial uniform of skinny jeans and impractical low-swinging messenger bags.
The girls are also adept at manoeuvring a bike while chatting and texting on their cellphones.
But rather than be offended, we're charmed.
The girls are so casual, funny, open and nonchalant, we decide to relax and enjoy.
However, there will be some moments of reflection.
After crossing the Sava River into New Town on the Brankov Bridge (a favourite for suicides) we stop at a former fairgrounds that was used as a concentration camp during the Second World War.
We then glide along the Sava and a leafy park in the sun.
During this section of the ride, I ask Petrovic about her life.
Seven months earlier, she graduated from university with a degree in human resources management.
"Serbia is a country of too many qualified people and not enough jobs," she explains.
"The unemployment rate is 25 per cent."
So Petrovic works part-time at iBike and part time as a receptionist at a travel agency and will hopefully start a HR internship by year's end.
Even if you do land a full-time job, the average monthly wage in Serbia is 300 euros and the average apartment rent in Belgrade is the same.
Therefore, Belgrade's educated youth are destined to live with their parents until age 30 or share with multiple roommates indefinitely.
But in this moment, the situation doesn't bother Petrovic.
We're rolling into the stylish Zemun neighbourhood with its ribbon of restaurants, all with waterfront patios, where we'll stop for a washroom and water break.
However, instead of water many in our group sip Serbia beers and wines and the guides, following an unwritten no-alcohol rule, drink strong coffees with their ultra-slim smokes.
The pedal back is through some prime examples of brutalist architecture, the name given to the bland and boxy edifices constructed during the Communist era when the country was part of the former Yugoslavia.
We pass the Hotel Jugoslavija, a favourite haunt of past dictators that hasn't seen a guest since it was abandoned in 1999.
POINT OF TRIVIA: The hotel was Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor's digs while Burton was in town shooting a movie about Yugoslav ruler Tito.
Then it's over to Palace Serbia, not a palace at all, but another brutalist government building that now houses the Ministry of Protection and the Ministry of Kosovo.
We arrive back in the Old Town at the Viking Rinda with an appreciation of Belgrade's contrasts.
Communist and civil war passed, followed by modern democracy, all in a stunning setting at the confluence of the Sava and Danube rivers.
To round out our Belgrade experience we tour the nearby Kalemegdan Fortress, which has been razed and rebuilt 44 times over the centuries, and say a prayer at 10,000-capacity St. Sava, the largest Christian Orthodox church in the world.
We wander and have dinner on the pedestrianized street Knez Mihailova, where European-cool outdoor cafés and restaurants dominate and international-brand stores reside in the bottom of centuries-old buildings.
A river cruise is the perfect way to happen upon beautiful Belgrade.
The Viking Rinda is doing the 11-day Passage to Eastern Europe itinerary from Bucharest, Romania to Budapest, Hungary with two stops in Bulgaria and a foray into Croatia.
The Viking is by far the king of river cruising with 200-passenger long boats that are small enough to be intimate and exclusive, but big enough to offer spacious staterooms with balconies and gracious public spaces from the dining room, bar and lounge to the outdoor terrace and rooftop sun deck.
The food is gourmet, beer and wine is included at meal times and excursions at every port are included in the price.
The Passage to Eastern Europe trip starts at $2,500.
Check out VikingRiverCruises.com, Serbia.travel and iBikeBelgrade.com.