Kicking back in Key West

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Moorings Village is an 18-acre property offering 18 private cottages and homes, ranging from one to three bedrooms. (POSTMEDIA)

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The stunning view at Cafe Morado, combined with warm sand and yummy food, makes one reluctant to leave. (POSTMEDIA)

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Half Shell Raw Bar in the heart of the seaport is a former shrimp packing plant-turned authentic Key West fish house. (POSTMEDIA)

ON the map, the distance between Miami and Key West is deceptively short -- about an hour-and-a-half's drive, we figured in our km/h-addled brains.

Despite the warnings of the hotel concierge that it was probably closer to four hours, we smugly set out on a road trip that actually took us five hours.

The painfully slow route through 230 kilometres of what seemed to be continuous road construction had us crawling along at times.

Fortunately, we had planned a stop halfway, at Isla Morado and a property called Moorings Village. This 18-acre property offers 18 private cottages and homes, ranging from one to three bedrooms, on what was once a coconut plantation.

The Moorings is the perfect spot for a wedding, reunion or extended family vacation. Each residence is self-sufficient, with its own well-equipped kitchen, television, telephone and, in most cases, a washer and dryer. Guests drive golf carts to the nearby town for supplies.

Fronting the residences is one of the largest and most-photographed private beaches in the Florida Keys -- and possibly the world. We toured the hurricane shelter/photo studio, where dozens of worldwide magazine covers of this stunning beach cover the walls.

Isla Morado is a narrow strip of land, so the resort's café across the highway is also on the beach. Cafe Morada is a tables-in-the-sand, funky and charming break from a long drive that uses the local catch to its simplest perfection. The view, combined with yummy food and our toes in warm sand, made us reluctant to leave.

Because of our late arrival, we had to hurry through lunch and get back on the road to make Key West before dark.

Once you pass Key Largo, this straight, flat stretch of two-lane highway travels over 42 bridges flanked by water that really is that dreamy shade of milky Caribbean turquoise that you see on travel posters.

We arrived in Key West just as the sun was sliding into the sea, with no clear idea of where we were and no contact number for where we were staying.

At a gas station, I realized how Canadian I am when my request for a telephone directory was met with a blank stare and then, "Oh, you mean a phone book?" Minutes later, armed with the address and straightforward directions from the gas station attendant, we arrived at the gem that is the Marquesa Inn.

The small luxury property with 27 guest rooms and the 50-seat Cafe Marquesa is located in Key West's historic district.

In 2011 alone, it made Travel + Leisure's list of 500 World's Best Hotels, Conde Nast Traveler's Gold List and the Zagat Guide to Miami/So. Florida Restaurants: Most Popular and Top Food, Decor and Service. The Marquesa Hotel and Cafe Marquesa have consistently maintained a 4-Diamond Award from AAA since opening 21 years ago.

This charming (circa 1884) heritage preservation award winner is in a quiet area, but still only a short stroll from the action on Duval Street and the world-renowned Green Parrot. The night we visited, a ZZ Top-type guy was playing a solo on a washboard. The music and vibe were energizing, yet laid back. Very cool.

Next day, on the advice of the inn's concierge (how to get the most out of Key West in a very short time), we rode the Conch Train through this historic area and learned (among many things) that the ghostly dilapidated concrete trellises we had seen en route to Key West once supported the trains that were the only connection (other than boat) between the mainland and the Keys. What a romantic time that must have been, I thought.

Jolted back to the reality of the train I was on by the driver's insistence on blasting clips of theme music and making us all dance in our seats, I felt like the ridiculous tourist that I was and considered next time I come I'll not choose accommodation along the Conch Train route.

The hub of Key West is a bit of a zoo. With half an hour left on our train tour, we'd had enough of the cheesy banter and hopped off to find lunch and some distance from the madness. Again on the concierge's advice, we followed the harbour walk to a place called Half Shell Raw Bar. Set in the heart of the historic seaport, this former shrimp packing plant is an authentic Key West fish house.

We had to try the raved-about conch (pronounced conk), so we paired a conch chowder with an oyster po' boy -- delicious. Great atmosphere and people watching here but once again, all too soon, it was time to race back to the inn, pick up the car and try to make the 6 p.m. rental-return deadline in Miami.

Unfortunately, on the way back we hit a torrential rainstorm like few I've seen -- and I've seen a few. It was as if we were plunging the car into a river.

With wipers working full speed, the road was gone from sight for long seconds at a time. When we finally emerged from under the cloud, white-knuckled and shaken, the next person we spotted was a motorcyclist in shorts and a T-shirt with no helmet. There was no way to warn him. As I crossed my fingers for his safety, I began to understand why there are so many death markers along these roads. Very few riders wear helmets here.

The 6 p.m. deadline had come and gone, but as we neared Miami it still seemed like full-on rush hour and drivers all around us were doing ridiculous things.

At one point, while I was trying to decipher the map in near dark, some yahoo cut off the truck next to us. The truck blasted a horn that sounded eerily like the warning signal of a train and I jumped out of my skin.

Fortunately, I was navigating and not driving. I'd had enough, long before we pulled into the Intercontinental Hotel parking lot and handed the keys to the valet. We didn't know or care at that point that it would cost $34 to park the car for the night. It would have been cheaper to drop it in the rental lot as we had to pay the extra $50 overdue fee anyway.

Next time we visit, we'll allow more time to get into the laid-back spirit of the Keys.

And while I enjoyed most of the drive, I think I would also opt for the Key West Express ferry. The trip is made in under four hours in a high-speed catamaran with bar and food service and is priced from US$119 round trip.

You'll arrive in Key West in a much more relaxed state. The historic district of Key West is a flat and easy walk, but you have the option of renting an electric car, bicycle or scooter to tour this quaint and kooky village.

-- Postmedia News

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 10, 2011 D4