February 19, 2018

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Age-old advice:

We mine the Free Press archives for advice that still applies today (...or doesn’t)

From Dear Edan Wright, published June 21, 1961.

Dear Edan Wright: I’m a boy of 18 and a senior in high school. I've been going steady for four years with a sophomore girl. We've had an argument about a big dance which threatens to split us up and I want your opinion on it.

I planned to take a senior girl to the dance simply because she is a dear friend. I dated her once before and we've been close friends ever since.

My steady doesn't understand that I'm only trying to be nice to a good friend. She has even objected to my associations with her in school. Treating her nice and holding conversations with her is no reason for my steady to think I'm cheating.

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From Dear Edan Wright, published June 21, 1961.

Dear Edan Wright: I’m a boy of 18 and a senior in high school. I've been going steady for four years with a sophomore girl. We've had an argument about a big dance which threatens to split us up and I want your opinion on it.

I planned to take a senior girl to the dance simply because she is a dear friend. I dated her once before and we've been close friends ever since.

My steady doesn't understand that I'm only trying to be nice to a good friend. She has even objected to my associations with her in school. Treating her nice and holding conversations with her is no reason for my steady to think I'm cheating.

"All teens who have sense become squares eventually."  

Incidentally, my steady has done a lot of things which I don't like and I think it's unfair for her to quit me after four years. In answering this letter, please keep that in mind.

Also the fact that we believe we love each other. –A Boy Trying To Make A Tough Decision

Dear Boy: You can be sure I'll keep your four years of going steady in mind because that's the basis of your trouble. At age 14, you pledged yourself to a girl of 12. What did either of you know about love or the opposite sex at that time? You and your girl were just beginning to be aware of an interest in the opposite sex — your steady sooner than you because girls mature more quickly than boys at the beginning.

So when you were 14, this girl was your equal physically and emotionally but she was far from knowing what love meant in the adult sense. And so were you.

Now let's take up the matter of going steady. This allows you to be good friends with other girls, to talk to them whenever you choose and to even fool around a bit. But dating them is out. And you know this.

You'd drop your steady like a hot pancake and never stop screaming about her unfairness if she was planning to do what you have proposed. Quite probably you have grown up to love the "dear friend" and don't realize it.

But your steady is not in the wrong. You are. Because you have kept a girl on the hook from 12 to 16 and you are still trying to hold her to a kid romance.

 

Dear Miss Wright: I'm a nice girl who started going with the wrong group. I want to pull out before it is too late but they will think I'm a square if I cut out on them. –Bewildered

Dear Bewildered: What if they do? All teens who have sense become squares eventually. Isn't that what your crowd thinks adults are? And aren't you going to be an adult?

 

Dear Miss Wright: I'm a fat girl who has lost her boyfriend. He was the only boy who didn't mind my extra pounds and now that we have broken up I can't find another. My weight is due to glandular trouble and my doctor is correcting it. But what can I do for dates in between? –Unwanted

Dear Unwanted: There are other boys like your ex - B.F. Get busy and cultivate them. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. 

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