February 24, 2018

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Ungrateful daughter needs to grow up

We mine the Free Press archives for advice that still applies today (...or doesn’t)

From Sincerely Edan Wright, published in the Winnipeg Free Press on April 27, 1963.

Dear Edan Wright: I’m a college girl, and, while I go to a university that is only three hours away from home, I don't see my parents often because I want to enjoy my dating opportunities.

My mother is very upset by this and she expects me to explain what I do on weekends. I don't think this is necessary. I don't feel I should have to tell her what I do or seek her approval with my dates. The school sets up rules which I obey and this is enough discipline.

All I'm getting from my parents is their financial aid and I don't see any obligation to them in this. I want to be independent and mother can't understand this. How can I get her to realize it?

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From Sincerely Edan Wright, published in the Winnipeg Free Press on April 27, 1963.

Dear Edan Wright: I’m a college girl, and, while I go to a university that is only three hours away from home, I don't see my parents often because I want to enjoy my dating opportunities.

My mother is very upset by this and she expects me to explain what I do on weekends. I don't think this is necessary. I don't feel I should have to tell her what I do or seek her approval with my dates. The school sets up rules which I obey and this is enough discipline.

Hypnotist Reveen had seven days of shows booked in Winnipeg in April 1963. Tickets ranged in price from 50 cents for children to $2.50 -- about $4 to $20 in 2017 dollars. </p>

Hypnotist Reveen had seven days of shows booked in Winnipeg in April 1963. Tickets ranged in price from 50 cents for children to $2.50 -- about $4 to $20 in 2017 dollars.

All I'm getting from my parents is their financial aid and I don't see any obligation to them in this. I want to be independent and mother can't understand this. How can I get her to realize it?

— A Normal Girl

Dear Normal:  It’s not your mom who is lacking in understanding — it's you. A girl can be independent without neglecting her folks and discussing what she is doing with them.

You say all you're getting from your parents is financial help. It costs at least a $1,000 a year to send a girl or boy to college and, sister, that isn't hay — as you will discover when you have to earn your living or marry some guy who will do this for you.

Moreover, the money your parents are giving you with which to educate yourself and have fun in college is something they have probably made sacrifices for in many years. I might add that they shouldn't have done this for a daughter who is as selfish and unappreciative as you.

You're not acting like an adult who is capable of managing her own life and you'll never measure up to this until you can show some sense about human relationships. You discuss your dates and everything you do with your friends. So is it asking too much to do this with a mother who has your interest more at heart than anyone, else?

She isn't going to monitor you. Or even blame you for neglecting her. She just wants to know what cooks with you and to have a little consideration in return.

 

Dear Edan Wright: My age is 22 and I am an unmarried mother with three children.

The father of my children is 29. He says he loves me and the kids but I can't get him to marry me. I've told him many times that he isn't being fair, but he shrugs this off.

I also have another worry about him. Last week I heard that he has two children by another girl. He says it isn't true. Still I have a feeling that it is.

He was a playboy before I met him and he's a tall, dark and handsome guy who makes girls flip the minute they see him. I've been in the clouds ever since I laid eyes on him and I can't think straight.

— Perturbed Sweetheart

Dear Perturbed: Come down to earth and boot this guy out of your life before it is too late. He'll never marry you and you're not acting with any more responsibility than your handsome Lothario in bringing children into the world without a father to give them a name.

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