Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My young son is gambling at 13! I grabbed his jeans to wash and found a pile of fives, 10s and 20s in his pockets. My first thought was he must be selling drugs, but it turns out he’s been playing poker in his best friends’ basements, with two other young guys.
He told me he’s so good he could be world poker champion some day. I told him, "That’s funny, because you’re retiring from poker, today!"
He says he doesn’t have any other friends to hang around with. That is true, so I’m not sure what to do.
— Young Gambler’s Mom, Winnipeg
Dear Gambler’s Mom: Call the other kids’ parents and let them know what’s going on. Maybe the parents can set some rules together. Still, the deal at your place is your son can have these guys over for board games only, and you’ll keep an eye on the crew. Then be sure to do it. They’ll be counting on you to slack off.
As for going to the other kids’ houses, that can only happen for your son if the other parents are keeping tabs on them. Call them, and if they seem annoyed with that idea, then your son is the weekly host. Feed them and supply some refreshments so being at your house is the preferred hangout.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I work at home, so to break the monotony, she’s been taking a two-hour walk in the morning, and she won’t let me come with her. She arrives back with fancy coffee and treats for us at 10 a.m. It seemed to me to be an innocent little COVID pastime, until yesterday morning.
I burned my hand when she was out, and had to take the car quickly to the pharmacy for bandages. On the drive home, I hit a light — and who do I see on a doorstep nearby, kissing a woman on the lips? My wife! It was half a block from the coffee shop she always goes to for our treats.
When she got home with the coffee and goodies, I asked her if she went anywhere on her walk and she said, "Just the coffee shop, as usual." An outright lie. I stared at her, until she started to turn red. Later, I did a little investigating of the address and inhabitant, and saw who actually lives there. I recognized her name.
My wife is bisexual and I have known that from the time I met her. So, I told her I saw her kissing a woman earlier. I boldly asked her if she had a female lover. In answer, she said our relationship has "cooled" and she needs "more." More, turns out to be this woman.
I love my wife, and don’t want to share her with anyone, and that includes this woman. My wife has now suggested an open marriage — an idea I find absolutely appalling. So now what do I say?
— Sick About Her, Fort Garry
Dear Sick: Be honest about your feelings. Tell your wife the idea of an open marriage is appalling to you. Although you knew your wife was bisexual, you wanted to be married to her one-on-one. That clearly didn’t work out for her and her desires. Her suggestion that you can also add other sex partners to the mix so she can feel free doesn’t work for you.
Counselling isn’t going to change her sexuality or her feelings about monogamy. You may have to end things simply because your mate is seeing another lover and breaking your heart.
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