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Child hog-wild about amorous farm animals

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/5/2014 (1190 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My little brother is far too interested in the sex on our farm. I am 15 and he is only 12, but he is way too educated from the farm animals and his computer searches about how different animals "do it" and he's always reporting sightings of cats, dogs, the bull and our horses having sex. I have complained to my mother that he's crazy obsessed and they say it's part of farm life. It wasn't for me!

I can't wait to get out of this hick area and into the city, but I think my parents need to keep an eye on that kid. He's obsessed with sex and he's got weird problems. I think they should take him to the city to see a shrink. Ewww. -- Disgusted Sister, Manitoba

Dear Disgusted: Talk to both your mother and your father and cite all the examples you know of. Then suggest clearly you think he needs to talk to a psychologist outside of the general area where you live. If you recognize something is wrong with this kid, now is the time to get him help. Lots of kids are interested in how animals have sex, but if you are sure his is a weird sexual obsession, then it is for everybody's well-being that he get help right now.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My friend thinks he can sing. He goes from one karaoke bar to another, and frankly, he's just terrible. I stopped going with him very often because it's painful. How do you tell someone they can't sing and that they shouldn't be singing in public?

This is my longest friendship ever -- since Grade 3. He is a great guy in every other way, but he expects me to tag along and "enjoy the fun." It is embarrassing and anything but fun to have him singing really loud off-key. I can see people wincing in the audience. None of his other friends will go any more. Do I tell him the truth about his terrible voice? He sounds like he's in pain when he sings. I feel that pain, believe me. -- 10 Years His Friend, Winnipeg

Dear 10 Years: Would you want to be told? Sooner or later someone other than his best friend is going to tell him bluntly, probably in a bar while drinking, after other singers. What you can do is let him know you are personally tired of karaoke and will not be going any more -- not at all. Be the first to ask him to do other fun activities. It's not that you want to quit being his pal, you just don't want to be anywhere he's singing. Let someone else break his heart.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I borrowed my big sister's white coat without telling her and wore it on a date and spilled some red wine on it. Then I tried to take it out with salt and soda water and other methods and none of it worked. Then I took it to a dry cleaner and they couldn't get rid of it all.

Last night I confessed and showed it to her and she hit the roof. She actually cried because it was her favourite coat ever and it's ruined. I offered to give her the money from my savings and that didn't help. What else can I do? -- Deep Trouble, West End

Dear Deep: She wants the coat fixed, and nothing else. More coats, exactly like that one, will have been made. Ask her where she bought the coat, and go see them about re-ordering it. If they can't get it, you can get almost anything on eBay, so get the make, model and size of that coat and replace her coat with a new one just like it.

 

Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Read more by Miss Lonelyhearts.

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