August 23, 2017


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Don't wear yourself out trying to win her back

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/5/2013 (1553 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am 17. My new girlfriend and I were peacefully eating a cheeseburger outside VJ's drive-in the other day when she started going on about how this reminded her of when she was with her former boyfriend -- her first love -- and this was their favourite place. Apparently, they used to go there late at night in the spring and sit there feeding each other the burgers and fries. Yuck. I asked her why she would be telling ME this stupid stuff and she said I should be understanding of her life before she met me and how much other people have meant to her. I said that was ridiculous. "How would you like to hear about my first love?" I asked. She said she would. I was mad, so, like an idiot, I told her some sweet things we used to call each other. She said, "Take me home." Now she won't take my calls or texts. -- Is it Over? South End

Dear Over: She dishes out insensitive information and expects to be treated like the queen -- no reprisals, or it's off with your head! You dished it right back and were surprised when she reacted. Look, you have exchanged colourful memories you shouldn't have about other people at a delicate stage, and you've both shown you can be spiteful. This is not a match made in heaven, so don't tire your fingers out texting her. It may not be over, but it's not the same innocent new relationship it once was, so don't put a lot of effort into getting her back.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I, married over 15 years, tried swinging in the last little while. More so her then me, if you get my meaning -- and always together, so it's not cheating and I don't feel any jealousy about it. But she is wanting to take the next step and see me with another woman. I don't know if I can or if I even want to. How do I break this to her without making her feel like she doesn't love me as much, since she is willing to be with other guys? -- Just for Her, Winnipeg

Dear Just For Her: It seems you were swinging with another couple where both couples went off with each other privately, though under the same roof. Now your wife wants something more. Remember this: Just because you did something considered "alternative" doesn't mean you can't say no to anything else that makes you feel weird or worried. You can stick your toe over the line together as a couple and them say no to other things. You always have the right to veto if something makes you feel uncomfortable. In your case, you might be protecting the emotional relationship, if you think you might show a preference for the new woman, and you should explain it. That might cool her down in a hurry.

Read more by Miss Lonelyhearts.


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