By: DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Just before it snowed, I was cleaning out the upstairs of our garage when I found some cards from my husband’s high school girlfriend. They were in a dusty little box tied with an old black ribbon. For all these years, he’s kept her lovey-dovey cards and photos!
After opening a bottle of rum, and reading each and every letter, I saw he was madly in love with her. The only reason they ended their love story was because the family moved away. I felt sad, but not worried, as she was thousands of miles away. I put the love letters back and tried to forget about them.
Bad news — the ghost is suddenly back. She recently moved to Winnipeg and is divorced. She wants to reconnect with her old friends, my husband being one of them. He’s met her for lunch a few times — not hiding it — but without asking me along. He’s also been taking calls in private at all hours on his cell.
He’s not physically cheating on me (he’s home every night), but he spends a lot of time on the phone and computer with her. I finally went to get the shoebox I found in the garage, but he’d already removed it. In my jealous mind, they probably looked at them together over lunch. I said, “Where did that shoebox go?”
He knew what I meant immediately. His face said it all. He told me he’d “never cheat on me, but she has a place in his heart.” What to do? I’m going crazy.
— Second Best? Windsor Park
Dear Second Best: So, he’s having steamy lunches with her and talks to her on the phone and online? That’s a form of cheating, even if they haven’t kissed. He may not be physically making love to this ex yet, but it’s possible he’s having steamy conversations.
This woman has nothing to lose in trying to seduce him, as she’s divorced, but you do! Tell him you’re not putting up with his rekindling a relationship with her.
If you want to give them a shock, drop in at the restaurant where they’re meeting and tell her to stay away from your husband! If he prefers her and wants to break up, he’ll be forced to tell you.
Also, call a marriage counsellor. If he balks at going with you for the appointment, you should go anyway and put him on notice there’s now a marriage at stake. Don’t do the polite thing and refuse to make any waves, until it’s too late.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been going to the same hairdresser for four years. I’ve never in all my years had a problem with her — until the last time, when I left in tears.
My hairdresser was preoccupied and left the colour processor in way too long. I touched my hair and pulled gently and ended up with some in my hand. My hair was coming out in clumps and my scalp was burned.
When I motioned her over, I could see the horror in her eyes. She immediately took me to the sink to wash the chemicals out. She then applied a conditioning treatment. She never said a word — nothing. When she brought me to her chair and took the towel down, I started to cry.
Instead of taking responsibility for her mistake, she said, “I tried everything I could to repair the damage you did to your hair.”
“The damage I did? What are you talking about?” I said, “I never damaged my hair. You did!” She asked me to leave.
I threatened that I was headed to see my lawyer. She then told me that all her employees would back her. I’m furious! I want to take her to court, but I feel if her employees back her the outcome would not be in my favour.
— Burned More Ways than One, Winnipeg
Dear Burned: See a lawyer. Bring any photos taken before and after the fact as proof. The last thing a hairdresser needs is a court case, so the lip she gave you was likely mostly bluster. You cannot get your hair quickly restored, but you might get a monetary settlement.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist
Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.
