October 19, 2020

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Big news not buffered by physical distancing

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Sitting at a physically distanced restaurant table with my new husband, we thought we could say anything we wanted, like we were in a private situation. So, I told him the big news — that WE are pregnant! Well, he jumped up, pulled me to him and kissed me full on the mouth. Everybody clapped and we blushed, sat down and ordered champagne!

Somehow the news got out and I got a congratulations call from a friend the next morning who’d heard a new baby was on the way. This was top-secret news because it’s so early — and what if I lost the baby before the first trimester was up?

I was really disappointed that either the staff or the people around us somehow got hold of the news and spread it around. I feel like complaining to the restaurant. Shouldn’t things like this be kept secret, if a server overhears?

— Not Pleased, North KIldonan

Dear Not Pleased: Don’t complain. You think the word "baby" wasn’t overheard by others? You stood up in the restaurant for a big kiss, whooping and ordering champagne. There was clapping, so no doubt other diners cruised by your table and everyone had their antennae up. Bay-Bee!

Even if people didn’t catch on at the restaurant, news gets around this friendly little city so fast, it could have been someone else who knows you who got the news even if you just told one family member, who told two others.

It’s happy news and it’s true, so relax and enjoy your good fortune in life. By the way, if you’d wanted to guarantee 100 per cent privacy, you would have told your man at home!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It has been six long years since I saw the love of my life who married someone else after he left me burning with hurt and anger. He went off to a big job on another continent. I didn’t want to get married and move out of Canada, so I gave him up for the love of my country. Yes, he did ask me to marry him.

We literally bumped into each other in a store this week because he was visiting his mother in Winnipeg — and now he’s living back in Manitoba. And he’s single again — divorced. But I’m not. We stood there looking at each other, and the fire was still there. I could never remember my own name when he touched me, and he was bold enough to reach out and take my hand.

I have thought of nothing else since. My husband is very nice, but I feel my true love is back. Before he left me in the store, he said softly, "I’m going to fight for you. This time I won’t give up so easily."

I can’t sleep or eat. What should I do? I feel like I’m "in love" all over again.

— Married to Someone Else, South Winnipeg

DEAR Married: It seems this man’s big job on another continent was enough to overcome his intense passion for you last time. And, in your case, the fear of leaving everything you knew in Canada, like your friends and family, kept you from marrying him when he asked you to go with him.

While you still feel powerful sexual attraction when you meet, what if you’d never run into each other in the store? It seems other forms of love haven’t been so present, but do keep me posted. Physical love is strong and has toppled many a marriage to other "nice" people. This sounds like infatuation, but it could be more powerful than the usual sort.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

   Read full biography

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