Dear Readers: As spring arrives, and coats come off, people become concerned about their bodies — from COVID-boredom bellies to other peoples’ perceptions of their assets. Here are a couple from the first batch of letters I’ve received:
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a serious problem with boyfriends who only want me for my body. I’m slim, but big-breasted like my mother. They can’t seem to see behind the body to the brainiac I am. My present guy is a bodybuilder and even he is over-invested in the size of my breasts. I am so sick of it.
If I were able to meet a whole new group of people, I guess I could cover my problem boobs up with baggy clothing, but with COVID, you’re pretty much stuck with old friends and schoolmates. My boyfriends are always mesmerized by my breasts, and this recent one is no different. What can I do to make him realize I’m a whole person, not a set of boobs?
— My Eyes Are Up Here, Wolseley
Dear Eyes Up Here: You could try to joke him out of it by continually fussing over some body part of his, other than his main event. Go ape over his big biceps to the point it gets annoying. Let him see how nonsensical his breast obsession has become to you! Given time, most partners get over what most attracted them sexually to their mate as they discover a whole lot more they enjoy, such as sense of humour, intelligence and mannerisms.
If this guy is a just-for-now partner, tell him in straight-forward language there’s more to you than your breasts and if he can’t stop obsessing, it’s time to take a hike.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been eating like a pig since COVID settled in. Now that it’s spring and the end is in sight with vaccines, I dared to step on the scale I’d thrown in the closet.
Whoops! If I’m not delivering a baby in a few months, I’m in trouble. I could be six months pregnant at this weight. Mostly it’s in front but now I have fat "everythings," including flabby arms.
My friends say, "Relax, girlfriend, everybody has gained weight!" How does that make me relax? I’ve never had to lose weight in my life. Until this year I was a runner, of sorts. OK, twice a year for short races, but still in pretty good shape. I never had a gut.
I talked to my doctor last week and he emailed me a low-calorie diet supposedly "packed" with nutrients. It looks like "blech" to me — an everlasting salad with chicken breasts thrown in. Puh-leeze! I want to live!
— Wanting My Old Body Back, Riverview
Dear Wanting My Body: Lucky for you, the sidewalks and running paths are bare most of the time now, and you can attack this problem by lacing up your shoes and giving the "blech" diet a bit of a go. If you start working on it, you can drop some pounds and you’ll be ready for races and other summer sports to keep it off.
Please send questions, comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.