October 18, 2018

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Opinion

Cheating not as fun when everyone is doing it

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/1/2018 (271 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m going on a holiday soon to a familiar spot where I’ve gone three times by myself. I stay at the same little hotel by the beach and know the staff there and in the surrounding bars, but I have one prickly little problem this year.

Last time I was there, I had a fling with the new manager of the hotel where I stay. It was guilty fun. This man contacted me online after I got home to tell me about his feelings for me. I wrote him back to say I was flattered, but had a committed relationship here in Canada I wanted to respect. He never wrote back.

As time draws near to board that plane to go to the island, I find my resolve to not cheat again is melting away and I am more and more anxious to see that hot and sweet hotel manager again. Should I stay away from him this time, or indulge again?

By the way, I think my guy here in Winnipeg is true — I’ve never caught him doing anything — but he seems inexplicably happy for me going away this year.

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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/1/2018 (271 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m going on a holiday soon to a familiar spot where I’ve gone three times by myself. I stay at the same little hotel by the beach and know the staff there and in the surrounding bars, but I have one prickly little problem this year.

Last time I was there, I had a fling with the new manager of the hotel where I stay. It was guilty fun. This man contacted me online after I got home to tell me about his feelings for me. I wrote him back to say I was flattered, but had a committed relationship here in Canada I wanted to respect. He never wrote back.

As time draws near to board that plane to go to the island, I find my resolve to not cheat again is melting away and I am more and more anxious to see that hot and sweet hotel manager again. Should I stay away from him this time, or indulge again?

By the way, I think my guy here in Winnipeg is true — I’ve never caught him doing anything — but he seems inexplicably happy for me going away this year.

He is a luxury snob and has no interest in vacations outside of North America where people speak a different language. Today, he informed me he’s going to southern California during the time I’m away.

Now I really suspect something is going on. Should I just assume he has someone else on the holiday and engage myself fully with the hotel manager when I’m away? — Feeling Jealous, River Heights 

Dear Feeling Jealous: You and I both know what you’re going to want to do on holiday, as the reality gets closer, but what makes you think the room automatically comes with a hot hotel manager option? He’s not one of the conveniences, and he’s not a robot.

He’s a man who liked you enough to try to stay in contact, and you shut him down and hurt his feelings when he wrote you. Notice he never wrote back after that. In fact, there’s a good chance (if he does like to romance the occasional guest) he’ll be seeing some other lady when you arrive, so prepare yourself for a rebuff. Good luck with even getting him back as a friend.

As for whether your Winnipeg partner has something going on, that’s for him to know. If he’s smart, he won’t be taking a local woman with him as everybody knows everybody in this city, especially when you’re trying to pull a fast one. If she is from here, he will meet her at the end destination.

Or he could have met someone online and is meeting her there. You didn’t say if he was going on holidays with any friends or not.

Cuckolded husband and wives have been known to show up outside airline departures to check out errant spouses, but why do that? You’re hardly the wronged innocent in this matter. In fact, you’re off on your own adventure.

Since it seems very likely you and your mate are both cheating this year, the upside is you can do it with less guilt, or would that decrease the fun?

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate something bad at a restaurant and had to immediately run to the bathroom where I was sick and threw it all up.

I wanted to go home but did not want to pay for my dinner. The manager said other people ate the same dinner and were not sick and gestured around the room.

Maybe he had a point. My wife was adamant we not pay for my dinner and we left the guy only money for her dinner. He was furious.

I threatened to send the health people, but I didn’t. Maybe I do have an allergy. What do you think? — Sick as a Dog, Eating Downtown

Dear Sick as a Dog: You should see your doctor about the possibility you are allergic to something and identifying what it is.

Do you know what all was in your dinner? You can probably see the restaurant’s menu online. Then you’ll need to try to find out what went into the dishes you ordered and ate, both the ingredients and spices.

Since your reaction was so swift, it’s important you identify what triggered it. For your sake and that of your family who love you, you need to find out as soon as possible since you may need to carry an anti-allergy EpiPen with you should you run up against this again. It could save your life. It’s a good thing your body threw that food up immediately.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went away for a holiday over Christmas and New Year’s and had a great time. I also had a little romance with a Mexican businessman, or so I thought.

This week, I received a beautiful card and letter from him, and at the end, there was an ask for money.

I told my best friend and she pointed I had never seen this guy working, he was available every day for dinners at my hotel and outside of it, and my only proof of him being a businessman was that he wore formal clothes — a really nice suit at all times.

He also paid for diners at places where he took me, but he generally knew the owner. What do you think I should do? Do I owe him money? This was a romance, not prostitution! — Big Sucker, St. Vital

Dear Big Sucker: Return his message with a letter and an equally fancy card from you saying, "Thanks for the lovely friendship while in Mexico, but I won’t be sending you the money you’ve asked for."

You won’t hear from him again. By this time, he will have another female fish on his fryer, and, no doubt she will be getting the next romantic card in his box.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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