October 23, 2020

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'Dictator dad' no role model for hubby


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Something has happened since my man and I got married. He has turned into his father from the old country. He’s bossy and tries to tell me how to do everything — the right way to make the bed, the right way to cook eggs, the right way to park the car, the right way to dress.

I thought I married one man, but got his perfectionist European father instead. I spoke to my mother-in-law about her son, and she said, "Just ignore him. At least he’s not violent." What a strange thing to say. Is her husband violent? I was afraid to ask. She certainly does things exactly the way her husband wants them done.

— Worried Newlywed, North End

Dear Worried Newlywed: You’ve just started into this marriage and it’s headed in a scary direction. You need to let your husband know you married him, and that you would never have married a dictator like his father. Tell him, because he may not have noticed he’s turning into his father — and you can’t stay in a marriage like that.

He may have the old-fashioned idea you are locked in, now you have made your wedding vows. That is not the case. He may think he’s not like his father because he’s not violent. That’s not modern enough. Then next time he tries to dictate "the right way" to do something, you say, "Remember what I said about dictating to me? Please stop it, so we can save our marriage."


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I know I’m going to sound bad here, but I have a thing for large breasts. I recently had a "date" with a woman who certainly appeared to have large breasts, but was actually wearing uplifts (padding). I was shocked when we got down to the nitty gritty, and the costuming effects came off.

When I instantly lost my arousal, she asked me why, and I could only say "disappointment." She looked at my equipment and said "Likewise!" We were drunk and both started to laugh and actually managed to have sex a bit later with our reduced expectations. Not great, but at least something.

Finally, she asked me if breast size really meant that much to me, and I had to say yes, particularly when it’s fake and a disappointment. She called me "shallow." I don’t think I am, just because I have certain preferences and she was using false advertising. What do you think? Am I shallow?

— Tricked by Advertising, Winnipeg

Dear Tricked: You are definitely swimming in the shallow end of the pool — and so is the young woman who’s padding her breasts to the hilt to attract men with a fetish for them. Nothing good can come from these kind of hook-ups, especially when all is revealed.

In this case, you were both visually disappointing, but, because of the liquor, were able to have a laugh about both being fooled.

But, to get serious, there wasn’t even friendship involved. This was a first meeting. You didn’t mention where you met this woman and if payment was involved, but you’re certainly talking like an irate customer… with the mention of a "date" in suspicious quotes and "false advertising."

Look, these are COVID-19 times. You can’t afford to be having sex with strangers when you have no knowledge of each other, no trust and no social bubble established. Never mind the disappointing size issue on both sides — you were strangers before the "date" of booze and sex. These days, one or both of you could have ended up with the coronavirus, gotten ill and possibly passed it around.


Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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