DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband’s dark hair — one of his most attractive traits — has been growing in grey rapidly since COVID hit. He hates it. He feels like COVID is making him into an old man.
Being a man of action, he decided to take matters into his own hands! The other night I was out shopping for a bit, and he dyed his hair with a cheap kit. It looked like something from Halloween — ink-pot black!
I was embarrassed for him, and he looked totally mortified. He didn’t realize black hair is a mixture of dark colours when his hairdresser does it.
He said to me, "I hate it. Should I shave it off, or do I wear a tuque and sunglasses for the next three months?" I felt so sorry for him. I didn’t laugh.
Should I try and help him at home? But how?
— Sympathetic Wife, Tuxedo
Dear Sympathetic: Your hubby doesn’t need to shave his head or wear a hat 24-7. There are many methods on YouTube to lighten an unattractive black-dye mistake, probably because so many young people give jet black hair a try. Some of them hate it once it’s done, like your husband does.
Make sure to check all the methods out first, and pick the gentlest repair so the hair doesn’t weaken and fall out.
By the way, you sound like a sweetheart of a partner. Someday you two will look back on the pandemic dye-job-rescue night and have a laugh! These are the kinds of experiences that bring couples even closer together — if you don’t razz the other, but instead help with a rescue.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I didn’t make new year’s resolutions this year for the first time, since I became an adult. Why? Because we are dancing on shifting sands, and I don’t know what’s going on from one week to the next. I feel encouraged because there’s a vaccine, but I’m depressed because it’s taking too long to get into my arm! I’m single, work at home, and I’m bored and lonely.
I have enough money but nowhere to spend it — no live music and all my favourite restaurants and bars are closed, or gone forever. How in God’s name am I supposed to make it another six months, or whatever, until they get the vaccines out to regular people like me?
— Poor Me! Transcona
Dear Poor Me: Most people know the frustration you feel waiting for the vaccine, and it will be a matter of months for many people. Let’s face the facts: We were a spoiled society before COVID hit us between the eyes. We often got things whenever we wanted them. We didn’t learn how to wait patiently for anything, as people have to do in many countries around the world.
To wait comfortably, you have to learn how to redirect your focus for a time. In your case, if you can’t spend money on your favourite restaurant, you could spend your former entertainment budget on helping out the charities in the city who feed adults and kids who are hungry. Just doing that will make you feel good.
Since you have a home you work from, you might spare a little money to help an organization for the homeless. If you want to do some volunteering — and it can be contactless — check out the many possibilities on Volunteer Manitoba’s website (volunteermanitoba.ca).
They don’t do placements (you must call places that interest you) but they help you find places that are looking for volunteer help.
Another kind of self-redirection is to get outside at all times of the day to walk and watch the skies, or take nature photos. Some people are doing daily sunsets (or sunrises!), creating art for their homes and workplaces.
Though you probably can’t stop in and visit with your neighbours on the doorstep without startling them, if you see a walk that needs shovelling, you could do that for them as a surprise.
Now for the personal connection we are all missing. Phone all the relatives you never had time for before, especially the older ones. With each call you’ll have information to pass on from the last one, and it will become a merry-go-round of reconnections and news within the extended family.
Make sure to invite them to call you back sometime, plus get numbers of other folks in the family they know. When this pandemic is over, you could help organize a family reunion! Most people would like to come to a party of renewed family friendships.
Please send your questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.