Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: As a tall, sporty, dominant woman I find it really difficult to find men who suit me. A weak man is not interesting to me, and a strong man with any kind of insecurity problem is immediately in competition with me! Not my idea of fun.

I want a sexy, equal, strong partner so we can take on any project together, from whitewater rafting to building a cabin together, and world travel adventures to sex, love and babies.

Unfortunately for me, weak men find me fascinating, as in thinking it would be a thrill to either try and dominate me or tag along behind me. The strong men often don’t want a "contender" unless they want a big family and a woman strong enough to handle it.

I’m strong, daring, fun and willing to try anything — in and out of bed.

For fun, I will occasionally play the role of the damsel in distress, though everybody knows I could change the tire, ford the stream or protect the children from danger on my own.

As such, it’s often a lonely world for women like me, romance-wise. I might do much better if I were lesbian, but alas, I am not.

So where does that leave me? Tall, long hair, pretty face, strong body, adventurous, great job, but not what most men fancy. Any suggestions? — Lonely at the Top of the Mountain, Winnipeg

Dear Lonely at the Top: You are the kind of woman men dream of… after they have married a weak woman and now have kids, two careers, a big mortgage, dogs and cats. Where is Wonder Woman when you need her?

Sadly, they didn’t have the ambition to win her and marry her in the first place. Now they may be stuck with a woman who expects a certain lifestyle, wants to stay home half- or full-time with the kids, and wants the guy to pull in enough money to maintain everything.

Yours is a difficult question. We’ve come a long way, but it’s still hard for the strong, dominant woman to find a matching strong man.

I’d ask other readers to please write in if you have this kind of relationship, explaining how the division of labour and child-care work, how you found each other, and how it works out sexually.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I accidentally hurt a co-worker’s feelings and now there’s an awkwardness between us. It would not be appropriate to apologize, as she was in the wrong over the way she spoke to a customer.

I am her immediate boss, but I came down too hard on her over a mistake we can’t afford to make here. Please advise. — Overly Critical, Downtown

Dear Overly Critical: You can certainly apologize for the way you criticized her, while still holding the line on the change that needed to be made.

It’s your attitude towards her she resents, which has made her feel self-conscious around you. So talk about your attitude and smooth things over. Things are tough enough in the workplace these days!


Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.


Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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