Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/12/2018 (1001 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in trouble with the two women I love. I bought them both the same little romantic gift in early December when the first snow came. I never dreamed this was a problem, since they live in two different places. My wife is in the city and my girlfriend is from the country. She’s my wife’s former friend.
I just thought I’d save myself a little time and get two of the same fluffy pieces of headgear as wintery gifts, as they were so pretty. The best colour was blue and they both have blue eyes, so I got two blue ones. My stupid mistake, for sure.
My wife slipped out without telling me to visit her dying aunt in the country and ran into my girlfriend at a store wearing the the same beautiful headgear.
They took one look at each other and put two and two together. My girlfriend approached my wife and said, "Where did you get yours?" My wife said "from my husband" and then both my girlfriend and my wife knew what had happened.
As a result, my wife is leaving me after New Year’s Day, and my girlfriend won’t be far behind her, as she can be nothing but nasty to me on the phone now and won’t see me.
What’s your smart idea for me, Miss Lonelyhearts?
— Square One, Winnipeg
Dear Square One: The root cause of your problem is laziness. You were too lazy to think of each woman individually, so you bought "your women" two identical gifts.
You were also too lazy to refuse an affair with a girl who was from the same small town as your wife, and now you’re getting divorced.
My smart advice to you, now that you’re back to square one, is to talk to a relationship counsellor about why you’re lazy, thoughtless and unkind to women.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My two kids are coming to Winnipeg to stay with me and bringing my grandchildren. My husband was against this idea because he says he doesn’t know how to entertain little kids. The real problem is the grandkids are not his. He is my second husband and we don’t have children together. He likes his own grandchildren and does just fine with them.
My husband died some years ago, but the kids were all grown and gone by then. Last night, with his back turned to me in bed, my husband told me he was going golfing with some buddies in Arizona the week the kids are here.
I was shocked! How rude to take off and shun my children and grandchildren. I am numbed by this and don’t even know how to respond. Should I tell my company to stay home? How do I tell them he has elected to snub them all? I hate him right now!
— Furious With Heartless Husband, St. Boniface
Dear Furious: Don’t let him bully you. Consider telling him: "You go right ahead. I won’t stop you, but I may not be here when you return. You knew I had a family and you still wanted to marry me. What’s the problem now?"
Is he jealous of the time you will give to them? He could be embraced by all these people if he made an effort to be welcoming. He’s choosing not to be part of your family. What do you want for the future? Is he asking you to choose between your family and him? If he is, he’s foolish, because we both know what your answer will be. Take this this to a counsellor ASAP, even if you have to go alone.
Please send your questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.