May 31, 2020

Winnipeg
25° C, Partly cloudy

Full Forecast

Help us deliver reliable news during this pandemic.

We are working tirelessly to bring you trusted information about COVID-19. Support our efforts by subscribing today.

No Thanks Subscribe

Already a subscriber?

Advertisement

Advertise With Us

Opinion

Gotch-o-phile desperate for return of underwear

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I left my black silk underwear at the apartment of a new woman I met. It is my best underwear and I’d like them back, but I don’t really want to see the woman again. I was wondering if it would be bad manners to ask for them back. I asked my best buddy and he laughed his guts out, and called me a cheap bas---d. Should I really just let it go? They cost me $35.

— Not a Cheap B.

Dear Cheap: You may not be cheap with your underwear, but you did spend a sexy night with a lady you never want to see again. Do you really expect her to meet you in her foyer and hand over your underwear? Asking for it back would inspire nothing less than a scornful remark and a hang-up.

Write them off as the price of monkey business.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: There’s a man at work I’m terribly attracted to, and I can’t have him. He’s not married and he’s not my boss, but it’s still not right, because we work closely together. He likes me, too, I can tell — the way a woman just knows.

Sometimes, I get the feeling he leans in close to sniff me. I wear the lightest of perfumes and I sometime hear him inhale when he’s close to me, looking over my shoulder at my computer.

The other night, I stayed late with him to work on a project and he made a funny comment. We were all alone in the office and he said, "Did you know there are cameras watching us?" I said "Who cares?" over my shoulder. He kind of laughed and said quietly as he walked away, "I think I do." That was when it hit me. It’s not just my silly crush; he’s attracted to me too! I turned around and looked at him and he had that "caught" look on his face, with his eyes open and vulnerable. I swear to God, if we were anywhere else but the office, we might have kissed.

I quickly made a little joke about the cleaning staff just arriving, and got up to leave. He also reached for his jacket, hanging over a chair nearby, and I got the smell of him as he shrugged into it.

He walked me to my bus stop, as it was getting dark. He looked me in the eyes for several seconds, said his goodbye and crossed the street to catch his bus. What should we do about this attraction?

— Forbidden Romance, Broadway

Dear Forbidden: Sometimes, fate just rolls a romance right out under your nose (with mutual sniffing and awkward, wide-eyed staring). Believe it, the right smell is a huge attraction between two people, certainly you two. Your skin wants to be close to his skin. Your eyes want to look deeper into his eyes to get deeper into who he is.

This situation is both good and bad. By working together, you have gotten a chance to know each other to a degree before you decide to do anything about it — like seeing each other outside of work.

I have experienced work-related romance several times myself, and noted probably a dozen other couples who started to fall for each other at work. Sometimes, it works out. That’s awkward enough. Sometimes, it’s passionate and then there’s a harsh breakup and that can be nasty for both.

Nobody can tell you not to feel what your heart, mind and body feels. The best advice is to try to keep it outside the office, although sensitive people around the office can often see and feel the vibrations you two give off in each other’s company.

Good luck with this. A betting person would put money on a kiss before Christmas at the bus stop.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Read full biography

Advertisement

Advertise With Us

Your support has enabled us to provide free access to stories about COVID-19 because we believe everyone deserves trusted and critical information during the pandemic.

Our readership has contributed additional funding to give Free Press online subscriptions to those that can’t afford one in these extraordinary times — giving new readers the opportunity to see beyond the headlines and connect with other stories about their community.

To those who have made donations, thank you.

To those able to give and share our journalism with others, please Pay it Forward.

The Free Press has shared COVID-19 stories free of charge because we believe everyone deserves access to trusted and critical information during the pandemic.

While we stand by this decision, it has undoubtedly affected our bottom line.

After nearly 150 years of reporting on our city, we don’t want to stop any time soon. With your support, we’ll be able to forge ahead with our journalistic mission.

If you believe in an independent, transparent, and democratic press, please consider subscribing today.

We understand that some readers cannot afford a subscription during these difficult times and invite them to apply for a free digital subscription through our Pay it Forward program.

The Free Press would like to thank our readers for their patience while comments were not available on our site. We're continuing to work with our commenting software provider on issues with the platform. In the meantime, if you're not able to see comments after logging in to our site, please try refreshing the page.

You can comment on most stories on The Winnipeg Free Press website. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or digital subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

Have Your Say

Comments are open to The Winnipeg Free Press print or digital subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to The Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

By submitting your comment, you agree to abide by our Community Standards and Moderation Policy. These guidelines were revised effective February 27, 2019. Have a question about our comment forum? Check our frequently asked questions.

Advertisement

Advertise With Us