DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Today (Nov. 1), I read a letter in your column about an executive secretary who is interested only in rich, powerful men — with "more than one company, for security." Her friends call her a gold digger, but I call her something worse by far, and unprintable.
Everything she wrote showed how shallow a human being she is. I usually try not to be mean, but I wish her a long, lonely life with a bunch of cats and no one by her side. After she loses her job that exposes her to the super-rich, she’ll get knocked down in life and have to deal with us peons.
Maybe I’m bitter. I’m self-employed and business isn’t easy. I’m not rich. However, I have always held the belief that love is about connecting with another person’s heart, not their bank account.
I’m funny, very caring, sweet, intelligent and very talented in my field, but have trouble connecting with the right woman. The women I’m interested in are either already taken or not interested in me, and those who are interested in me don’t appeal to me. I’m scared I’ll live the rest of my days without a woman by my side to love and enjoy life with.
When I read a post from a gold digger who thinks so highly of herself, I want to scream. The classic song lyrics ring very true in her case: "She ain’t pretty, she just looks that way!" She’s not looking for love, she’s looking for a bank account, and that makes her evil.
I hope she is the exception to the rule, because when I see stuff like this, it hurts my heart deeply. Sorry to vent, but I just had to say these things.
— Shocked by the Gold Digger, Winnipeg
Dear Shocked: Take heart! She is the exception to the rule. There aren’t a lot of gold diggers left, although you may find them in greater abundance in fancy big cities. Most women are quite capable of getting their own jobs. Some work their way up to jobs that pay six figures. Very few earn more.
Male gold diggers also exist, but numbers are very few in this city, where there aren’t a lot of women with big money looking for guys to spend it for them. Perhaps Toronto or Vancouver might produce more of these guys.
Why did you get so upset when you heard this woman rant on about her ambitions to snare a rich guy? People like her aren’t usually subtle enough to trap a guy with mega-bucks, as most well-to-do men are smart and/or educated and quite experienced at sussing people out. This woman should have no effect on you at all. Look for a creative sweetheart of a woman who makes similar money to you, heave a sigh and relax.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got up and cooked breakfast for a new woman after a night of making love and a nice sleep together, and she said in a (witchy) voice, "I don’t eat breakfast. Take it away," like I was a stupid servant.
I felt awkward and went out in the kitchen and ate her breakfast and mine too. When she wanted a ride home, I said: "I don’t drive people home who turn their noses up at my offer of home-cooked breakfasts in bed." I called her a cab in front of her face.
She said, "I like your style," and boldly tried to get me interested in sex again. I said, "Your cab is here," and she laughed and said, "No, it’s not — and I admire this move even more."
Two minutes later, the cab showed and she left, saying, "Call you later!" I didn’t pay for the taxi. Who does she think she is — the Queen of Sheba? I’m an older, experienced man. I know she’ll call me again, because I won’t bow to her.
What should I say then?
— My Next Move? Tuxedo
Dear Next Move: Keep piling on the hard-to-get lines when she phones, and don’t give in. When she says something like, "You don’t mean this, you’re toying with me," you reply, "I’ve never been more serious in my life."
Then stop taking her calls. Game over! Winning you back just to set you on your ear again is what she wants now. This is an old male/female game, and only worth a few exchanges.
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