August 4, 2020

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Opinion

Hint at grandchildren to appease ex-mother-in-law

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/8/2017 (1082 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I married my childhood sweetheart in my late teens. I had no kids with him and I still really wanted to go wild for a few years. We divorced, but he was an emotional mess for a year and went home to live with his mom. We didn’t have any property to divide.

Well, who came back into my life on Facebook but my ex-husband, who is looking all grown-up and fancy? We got together a few weeks ago and have been seeing each other almost every day after work until the next morning. This was fine with me, but then his mother found out. She started raising hell about him seeing the girl who broke his heart before.

Today she called me, and asked me what I thought I was doing. I told her it was none of her business and she said, "Well, don’t break my baby’s heart again, or you’ll answer to me." I said, "Bring it on!" never thinking she would. The next day she was on my doorstep at supper time. I saw her through the side window and didn’t open it.

Now I have a big problem — her. I really do love him and care deeply, and I’m mature enough now to want a marriage and babies. We are both in our early 30s and never married anyone else. What should I do?

— Ms. Unpopular, North End

Dear Ms. Unpopular: The thawing-out process has to begin with your ex’s help. He has to tell his mom he went looking for you, how things developed, how much more mature both of you are, and that you want to have kids together and for her to be an active grandmother. She has to be reassured you both have matured, still love each other and this time you’re ready. That might just settle her down. There is nothing like the promise of grandchildren to persuade her to give you another chance.

As for a second marriage, keep it quiet. Do it privately with just two to four close friends for a dinner after a ceremony. When guests who attended your first wedding ask about a real party and gifts, just tell them it’s not necessary since they gave you things at your first wedding.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went out for a fist fight in a bar parking lot with a friend who double-crossed me. People just left us to duke it out. I got a bleeding fat lip and her eye went purple. I don’t know where security was. She and I have had a lot of verbal fights in the bar before, so maybe people have stopped caring if we live or die. Anyway, when we both sobered up, she got over it, but my lip is still bad and I’m mad.

I needed a drink at my favourite bar. That bar is my home. Yesterday we both went back to the bar. She tried to make up to me and I told her off. She asked if I wanted another beating and suddenly a bouncer showed up, told us to get out and said we were banned. Where does he get the right to ban us from our own bar? We went to another bar to talk for a minute and decided we’re going to the manager of the old bar about this. What should we say to him?

Want Our Home Back, Downtown

Dear Want Our Home Back: Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you want to see if you can get along without hitting each other, try two months in another bar and then, on the strength of your good behaviour, you could try talking to the old manager on the phone, bypassing the bouncers at the door.

Why any owner would want two scrappers back is beyond me, but it was the bouncer’s decision that put you out, not his, and the big boss may override the bouncer.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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