November 13, 2019

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Opinion

It's time to separate the wheat from the chaff

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a dominant woman — physically and in other ways. I’m always the boss, always the leader and deserve the position. I own a farm, home and side business. I’m good-looking, athletic and have long hair, and wear skirts and dresses on fancy occasions. I’m not manly-looking, but I’m tough.

I also have sexual and emotional needs. And it’s not like there aren’t a bunch of single farmers who inherited land and farms in southern Manitoba. I meet them through competitions at fairs and farmers’ organizations.

The trouble is the guys who admire me most are likely to be easygoing and the kind who are happy to go along for the ride, and just let me decide everything. I don’t want to boss them around. I have dated some of these. They start off happy and end up jealous and resentful. I’m looking for an equal or better.

At home and in the bedroom, I like to take off my work clothes, unbraid my hair, dress feminine and be treated like a lady. Sexually, I’d like to be swept off my feet and carried to the bedroom. These dominant, swashbuckling kinds of men seem only to exist in western movies and romance novels.

It’s lonely out here in rural Manitoba and I’m not getting any younger. I’m not sure what to do at this point. It’s not in my nature to give up!

— Lady Farmer, Manitoba

Dear Lady Farmer: It sounds like you need a confident well-to-do farmer, businessman and/or successful salesman of farm implements and trucks, or perhaps a contractor for building barns and outbuildings, an agricultural scientist, or a veterinarian, local doctor or lawyer. What you don’t need is a wimpy hanger-on who will end up being resentful of the power you possess. It’s a leader you’re needing — a big guy in every way, but not a brute.

The best way to meet movers and shakers is to get involved in some agricultural concerns outside your own area with a view to finding a guy. He may have to fly in to see you in his own small plane. And he may have to a be little younger than you to be modern enough, but that’s OK for lots of things! Modern younger men are often admiring and accepting of stronger women in former men’s roles. So join larger agricultural and environmental groups in the regions and province, and look for your kind of man over a 20-year age span. Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend took some intimate photos of me when we were in love and very close, and now we’ve broken up bitterly. I want the photos back NOW — all of them — for obvious reasons. He’s mad and jealous enough to do something with them, because I have a new man — a guy I love and want to marry.

These pictures were taken when I’d had a few drinks, and I’m clearly posing half-naked and worse in them. We were just having fun, and I never thought we’d break up in this lifetime or I never would have done it. Well, he cheated and I left, and he claims he’s still in love with me and that I should come back and there’d be no problem. You see the problem. What should I do?

— Need Photos Back Desperately, Rural Manitoba

Dear Needing Photos: Posing for naked photos for your partner — no matter how loving at the time — is always a bad idea! Relationships break up; people get mad and spiteful. And, worst of all, you can’t really get all your photos back in this day and age. Your angry ex might pretend to give them back but still have them all copied for himself.

You can do something about the threats. See a lawyer about his uttering threats to expose the naked photos of you. The lawyer can certainly take action about uttering threats, exposure of the photos publicly and attempting to terrorize you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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