August 4, 2020

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Make amends for lewd kitchen slapstick, hubby

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new wife was leaning into the fridge, with her cute bum stuck out, so I gave her a playful little nudge, and she kind of fell in onto the top shelf.

There was lots of space, but she knocked over a large milk jug and cracked a carton of blueberries which came flying out, scattering everywhere. Then she jerked her head up and hit the bottom of the freezer compartment. I had never seen her that mad. She called me things I’ve never heard come out of her mouth before!

She has been ominously quiet since, and I know she’s still mad. I’m scared to give her chocolates as she might smoosh them in my face.

— Dumb Young Husband, Steinbach

Dear Young Husband: Consider a single red rose and a romantic card with an apology — no jokes scribbled in the card! This was not a joking matter to her, even though you may have laughed, at first.

The romantic rose has the advantage of dying within the week, and you can hope this incident dies with it. Remember this important lesson: Guys like slapstick humour — on either end of a joke — but women just hate it.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fooled around and fell in love — without meaning to. I’m only six months out of a long, bad marriage. My kids moved out at 18 and 19 because of the fighting between me and their father.

Now, I’m crazy for my new man. The trouble is, I have a roommate and we share a lease. What if he wants to move in together? I have a great apartment and don’t want to lose it, but how can I ask my roommate to move, when she only moved in five months ago when my I left my husband?

— Ask her To Move Out? Downtown


Dear Ask: What’s your hurry, girlfriend? This roommate is perfect for slowing down the dangerously hasty pace you seem to want for this new relationship. This first feeling of "love" is generally infatuation, and you need to ride that out to find out if it matures into real love.

Continue living with your roommate and stay nights with the new man — but not every night. Give him room to breathe, and yourself, too. When people confess their love, they often panic right afterwards, so you have to allow some space. Don’t start making plans to change your living arrangements or hinting about moving in on his territory.

Just enjoy that fact the "love" word has been expressed on both sides, and see what the next year will bring, and whether that feeling grows… or not! You need to go around the seasons with this man.

There are so many things to try out for compatibility. First, there’s the meeting of the two extended families — that can be good or bad. Secondly, how you do you meld sexually as time goes on? Third, will you also blend well when it comes to work, play, power, and the treatment of and love for kids? Finally, on top of all this, the money situation can be tricky when people don’t earn the same amount, or have different attitudes to spending.

It’s really early! There’s absolutely no need to talk about your roommate moving at this point, unless she’s upset and can’t stand having two lovers around. Then she may want to find some new digs and fly the love nest — without being pushed.


Please send your questions and comments to or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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