Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Sometimes I get a bad stomach ache when I wake up. It usually follows dreaming about my ex-girlfriend. I’m with a new girl now. She’s great and "in love" with me, but I’m still dreaming about my ex, who was very exotic — from another culture. Her parents didn’t want us to marry and mix the races and cultures.
I was getting along all right eight months after the breakup, when I ran into my darling in Polo Park shopping mall. I mean we literally bumped into each other and I knocked some of her packages flying. I grabbed them for her, and she said she wanted to go for a coffee. We did, and that was my undoing.
I will always love this woman and she will always love me, but she is old-fashioned and will do what her parents insist. She says, in her country, a lot of people don’t get to marry the ones they love romantically, if they are not "suitable" in colour, race and earning capability. I am an excellent musician but not that great in the financial category — and I’m white, which is the wrong colour.
I’m just a mess today and am starting again at Square One trying to forget her, my true love, my darling! What can I do?
— Broken All Over Again, S. Winnipeg
Dear Broken: If there is no chance with her at all, you might want to consider moving. Yes, that sounds drastic, but staying in the same city is very hard, knowing your true love is sleeping across town — but with a whole new life going and maybe with someone else as her husband.
You have to build your love life and family life without her, and it may be easier if you get out of Winnipeg. Can you look for some music possibilities elsewhere — Toronto, Vancouver, New York, L.A. or across the pond. Good luck nursing that badly broken heart back to health. It can be done, but more easily if you aren’t near the source of the pain.
It’s interesting you literally ran into your heartache woman like that — bam! Seems like fate. Maybe that’s being overly romantic. She’s not the type to defy her parents, like some North American girls will do. Maybe it was a meeting to underline that you are NOT going to recover from her until you stop sharing this small city. Sometimes love cuts that deeply into one’s heart, and nothing will do but the Geographic Cure.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m an unhappy camper because I lost my job and I’m back living in my parents’ basement. Not that it’s a bad place out here in Tuxedo, with a jacuzzi and private bedroom and big TV. But women don’t want to come home with me to my parents’ place no matter how nice and big the house is. I’m in my very early 30s. What do you think?
— Comfortable But Lonely, St. Vital
Dear Comfortable: Get two part-time jobs if you have to, and get out of your parents’ house. This is no time to boomerang. Re-launch yourself ASAP and get back into the world of the 30-somethings. You are now considered a teenager again, as parents never quite "get" the aging of their children especially if they’ve come back to live under the parental roof.
Please send your questions and comments to email@example.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6
Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.